Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Writing Exercise

I'm going to attempt to answer the question: What does it feel like to be you? Gutsy Writer inspired me with her written reflection on a writing workshop exercise. Here it goes.
When I look in the mirror, which I have trouble peering into directly unless I am alone, I see myself in different phases.

Sometimes I see a girl, about 10 years old, shy and unsure, but determined in many ways. In reality, this child is gone, but emotionally, hidden within the folds of my brain tissue, she is still very much alive. This girl believes in all things idealistic. She sees talking animals and fairies in the woods, angels hovering near the 120 year old ceiling rafters during the candlelight Easter Vigil at church. She imagines God's touch in the ocean breeze, while lying, eyes closed, at the beach. This girl dreams in color.
At second glance, I see a woman I do not recognize, uttering words that shock and surprise me as they exit her mouth. This person is stronger than me. It's scary and embarrassing. Get back in the mirror, will you, PLEASE?!

However, when I bump into a glass-covered column in Macy's while in a shopping fog, the image staring back at me is very familiar. I know that woman from somewhere....? Wow, she is beautiful in an elegant, yet, scruffy, peasant-like way. The baby-fingerprint food stain on her sweatshirt is charming. Oh, wait, that's just my reflection. Stupid! For a split second, I don't recognize myself. Being Loren is entertaining.
Other times I see a frazzled woman, hair disheveled, eyes heavy with fatigue, a mother of three in six years, who has trouble looking her pharmacist in the eye, although he is very nice. This man knows way too much.

Overall I like being me. The phases are very different, nevertheless, they rotate depending on my mood and environment, like a digital photo book. My life feels like a journey, shocking and mundane, restless and peaceful, all at once. The images of myself make up the whole of my adventure.
Picture by sunmoonstars2008 on Flickr


Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

I can see what you're seeing here - this is really nice.

Putz said...

i really hate o's stance on life...he is pandering to the only real group that really count, those women and men who are their spouses who must take the mother in law is dying right now and we take such watch care over her, why wouldn't we also take taht same kind of care over the unborn???

Putz said...

i really screwed up that comment up my comments on my own blog, you are so open in this blog, like you are writing just to me, and yet i know milkman and your kids are the object of your blog

Putz said...

blackbirds singin in the dead of night...blackbird fly

Loren Christie said...

Mr. Putz,
I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law's illness. If you have a moment, and feel so inclinded, there is something called "The Red Envelope Project" that you can participate in...scroll down to the bottom of this blog and click on the envelope for more info. Have a great day and thanks for the comments. :)

jenx67 said...

This may be a place i'm not willing to go right now.

I loved that part about the faeries on the rafters at the Easter vigil. Great stuff.

Love the play list.

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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