Monday, April 13, 2009

Hell Hound's Weekday Update: White House Corruption Exposed!

Hello odorless, non-edible device that mesmerizes humans. I'm hiding behind this curtain because I'm depressed. I got two deliveries of bad news today. First, Showtime did not like my new reality show, Keeping Up With Hell Hound. Second, President Obama definitely picked that water dog as the next first pet. I'm feeling the pain of rejection right now, and it hurts, cyborgs!

Now for the outrageous conspiracy. Listen up America. I called my friends on Fox 5's Shame on You! and told them about the President's Next First Dog Reality Competition, and how I was disqualified for defending America against Mrs. O's red/black dress. Now reporters are revealing the corruption. They are investigating my theory that Bo dog is an ex-PIRATE of the seven seas! That's right- President Obama may have adopted a pirate! Mr. Obama promised America he would pick me- a funny looking mutt from a shelter to be the next first pet, but instead he choose a PIRATE DOG that Mr. Kennedy saved while on out on his yaht! This is disgusting, America. Dogs, if you are upset with the leadership in this country, come join my next tea party at the Brookhaven Town Shelter. Canada, will you take me as your mascot?! I love your geese.

-Hell Hound :(
First Picture is of President Obama and his favorite dog in the world taken by the Associated Press.


Mr. Norman Whiskers said...

Well Hell Hound, It looks like you are a complete failure. There's really no point in living now.

Putz said...

how would like to be duke now...why i don't know but dan made him an it today, and he is really hurting....

Bear Midnight Miller said...

That was an insult to all real dogs everywhere. This creature is a fakery. If a dog doesn't carry allergens it probably isn't really a mammal. I think it is an alien of some sort.

Hell Hound said...

Bear Midnight Dog, Your comments are really the only thing that keeps me wanting to get up in the morning and steal the kids lollypops. I love you, man.

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Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


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