Saturday, April 25, 2009
My Life as Norman Whiskers: Hell Hound is a Cold Blooded Killer!
I have recently become a bit of a cheeky, wise cat, after obtaining a psychology degree online and deciding to quit hiding my ability to speak English. Now I advise my Lady, acting as her personal life coach.
She approaches me near the porch window, quite unraveled about this DOG.
"Oh, Norman, "What can I do with such a Hellish Hound?!" She asks.
"Well, my lady, you have several options. The death penalty for evil dogs is completely legal, so that is one. Otherwise, I know an unusually huge pigeon named Biggy Smalls who lives in the graveyard next door. He's been in an East side/West side of the fence war with Hell Hound ever since she swallowed his best friend whole. He tells me he can make Hell Hound disappear for a bag of seed. What do you say?!"
I try to keep my tone of voice even, not wanting to sound overly enthusiastic about the prospect of ridding my world of Hell Hound, as my Lady might be further unnerved. If she didn't love the ghastly creature, things would be less complicated.
"You have to toughen up and send her to the prison, my Lady, once and for all! You have too much sympathy for this animal." I say.
"Norman, if I were any less sympathetic then I would not have looked to save another cat from prison, and you would not be lounging on my favorite chair right now."
I button up, since this is true. I guess it's time to work out a deal with Biggy Smalls on my own.
Dear Internet Traveler,
Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.