Princess came home with a Kindergarten class list today and sat down at the table ready to make Valentine’s Day cards. Two hours passed and she had 19 cards done.
“But there are 20 kids on this list,” I said, recounting them.
Princess frowned, crossed her arms and said,“I’m not making one for Lenny."
“You can’t do that. You made cards for everyone else,” I said. Then, realizing something was wrong by the look on her face, I bent down to her level.
“Why don’t you like Lenny?” I asked her.
Princess burst into tears. She shared that Lenny is a mean bully who really bothers her at school.
“And he draws pictures of me in jail!” she said, crying on my shoulder.
Meanwhile, my oldest, who just turned 8 years old, marched into the room. He had heard the conversation and felt the urge to protect his younger sister, whom he affectionately calls Snail.
“Princess is a strong little woman and she can handle this situation herself,” I told him, adding a request to let me talk to her alone for a minute.
After he left us, I got my daughter a tissue.
“Listen, Princess,” I began. “Try to be nice to this kid even though he is mean to you.”
“Why?” she asked, wide-eyed.
At that moment, I was thinking that this was a perfect opportunity to tell her some wise Christian moral about taking the high road and turning the other cheek, but I didn’t. Lately, I haven’t felt that strong spiritually. However, that’s my issue, not hers, so I just tried to speak from the heart.
“Um, I’m not sure. I do know that being kind to people who hurt you keeps you looking young and beautiful on the inside,” I said.
“Where inside, Mama?” she asked.
“In your heart and in your mind. Being beautiful on the inside matters more than just looking beautiful on the outside.”
Then she asked, “Do I have to make him a card?”
“That’s your decision,” I said.
Secretly, the Mama Bear in me wanted to find that five year-old bully and make him so sorry. Instead, I left her alone with her glue and crayons to make what was, perhaps, the first small version of a life-time of tough decisions in regard to dealing with others. I never asked her what she decided to do about Lenny’s Valentine, but after she put her cards in her school bag I had to peek. On top was a new one that read,
“I Still Love You.”