Friday, February 04, 2011

Valentine's Day: It's All About the Chase

Valentine’s Day is coming up and you know what that means: take down the Christmas lights before the neighbors taunt you. It's also time to give the husband some romantic holiday hints because women and men come from different planets, as we all know.

I begin my cryptic prodding by circling the date on my planner calendar in red marker and leaving the book open on the kitchen counter under his wallet and keys. Then I watch him pass by, take his things and walk off. So, I try something else.

I leave a bunch of catalogs for Caribbean cruises, restaurants and jewelry in a pile on his side of the bed. He comes in the room, scoops them up and says, “Are you still looking at this stuff or should I throw it out?”

With a week left in the countdown, I decide to get blunt. I say,

“So, Valentine’s Day is coming. What are we doing?”

A starring contest ensues, which means he has nothing planned. Then he says:

“I think you will take me out on a date. Surprise me.”

“WHAT? Oh that’s clever,” I say.

But it’s really lame, and I only agree to the idea because, obviously, I have to show him how Valentine’s Day is done. So I ask my husband to list what he loves.

He scratches his head, then announces, “You, definitely.”

“Okay, good answer,” I say, “but I need some more ideas.”

“Um, Yankee baseball, The Jets, barbecue chicken wings, ...”

I stop writing. “Let me get this straight. You like me, sports and meat?”

“Well, I guess. Yeah.” He laughs at the realization.

“So, you’re saying that for Valentine’s Day, I could broil a steak for you and put on ESPN. That would make you happy?”

“Okay,” he says, smiling.

“And if I walked past the television half naked would you still watch the game?”

He raises an eyebrow and there is a long pause. Then he asks, “Is this a trick question?”

“Forget it,” I say, flabbergasted.

The next day I’m dropping my 3 year-old son off at preschool. We are greeted at the door by a little girl named Kaylee who has the most enormous green eyes and is wearing a sparkling pink shirt. She helps my youngest hang his coat in his cubby hole.

My son looks at her and scowls. “Why is he following me, Mom?”

“This is a she” I say motioning to his little female friend, “and she’s just being friendly.”

Him always follows me and him wants to put kisses on me too, actually,” my son exclaims, red-faced. “Him is really crazy!” he adds.

Kaylee and I watch my son march off and glance back several times, as if he is waiting for a chase to begin. But his fan is not following him.

Instead, Kaylee is tugging on my shirt. I bend down so she can whisper in my ear.

“Mrs. Christie, your son says that his ham sandwich is #1 and I am #2. He runs away from me all the time,” she says, sadly.

I pat her on the head. "Don’t worry Kaylee, there is hope for you yet. His father says the same thing to me. Let me tell you a little secret about boys. If they tease you that means they are trying to hide the fact that they love you."

“Teeheehee!” she laughs, and then skips after him.


Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

Valentine's Day falls on a Monday this year...Monday is poker night....but I know he is my valentine and he knows I'm his so whether or not we celebrate that night doesn't really matter so much anymore.

Loren Christie said...

Elizabeth, WHAT?!

Milk Man said...

I have the most wonderful plans to by flowers and go out to dinner. Just have to wait for the 2nd Mortgage to be approved (because of inflated flower and dinner costs once a year).

Loren Christie said...

Okay Milk Man. Sorry you can't make it. I bet we would have had fun. By the way, I hope your handyman skills include the ability to construct a dog house with heat because it certainly is chilly outside.;)

Milk Man said...

In the choral chant of the Christie Kid's, "Who let the Dog's Out?" I was only kidding, Wendy's has fries with sea salt now. I'll let you supersize them.

Loren Christie said...

too late. I made plans with that wrong number to my cell phone- Rodriquez Sanchez, seems nice and totally into Valentine's Day. Maybe we can go out another night.

Milk Man said...

Excellent my plan worked. I sent Rodriquez a picture of you and he decided to make his one call from prison to you. It will be a romantic evening at home alone for me with my favorite hosts from FOX News. I think you might be waiting awhile for Rodriquez, like 8 to 10 years.

Loren Christie said...

Milk Man, you $%#!@. You win, lol.

Putz said...

i am like elizabeth up thre<><><>to try to turn the romantic key on my wife is just toooo much trouble anmymore <><><>we know there isn't anyone out there competeing to be our valentines anymore so it makes it easier to make no effort, but for you loren and ole kilkman there it is a competely different horse of a different color

Loren Christie said...

Every day is a reason to celebrate the good things in life. Thank you for the comment Mr. Putz, as always. I hope you and Mrs. Putz have a very cozy Valentine's Day. love Loren

Putz said...

cosy eh?????trying to be a diplomat loren????and not rock the boat

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Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


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