Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"One, Two, Three Four, Tell the People What She Wore"

After fifteen years of wear I had to retire my coveted light purple, velvety bathing suit. It was a two piece that used to be so comfortable. The bottom was shaped like a tiny pair of shorts, so I never felt too exposed and it was probably the most flattering suit I’ve ever owned. I wasn’t ready to part with it, but the straps on top were starting to fray and the elastic on the bottom piece obviously did not appreciate all of the times I forced myself into it as my weight fluctuated between having three children two years apart. During those years I used the bathing suit to gage whether or not my body was back to normal again. In all likelihood, one more season in that suit would have resulted in my involuntary celebration of the legality of going topless on New York beaches. To avoid an inevitable wardrobe malfunction, I tucked the old thing in the drawer filled with clothes we cannot part with, next to my husband’s tee shirt from boot camp, my children’s hospital tees from birth and a macramé tank top I’ve had since I was fourteen years old. Then I went bathing suit shopping.

While the day was sort of sad, the silver lining was the fact that I discovered I am honestly back to my old size, finally. After three births which truly were the most miraculous experiences of my whole life, I have to be honest and admit that they did also leave me feeling a little scarred in the body-image department. Before I had children my motto was always: if you got it, then [tastefully] flaunt it. It’s taken me a while to feel confident again, but my bikini-wearing days are nowhere near over as far as I’m concerned.

So I found one that I felt very comfortable wearing after conducting my own tests in the dressing room which included bending over and running in place in front of the mirror; (God, I hope there were no secret cameras in there). It had white polka dots, like that old song except it was not yellow, and I wore it for the first time when I got home, leaving the tags on, just in case. My husband was the only adult nearby to ask for advice and so I came outside while he was firing up the barbeque to ask how I looked.

“Beautiful,” he said, immediately discrediting himself as a fashion critic by extending a blood-red dripping piece of marinated cow muscle in my direction and adding,

“Hey, Baby, look at this steak. Isn’t it the most beautiful piece of meat you ever saw?”

Although I knew I might as well have asked Fred Flintstone for fashion advice, I decided to not seek a second opinion because I adored my cute new bikini and I was really quite certain that it looked good. I decided to trust my own judgment and “Fred’s” for that matter. After all, he obviously loves me … and steak, but that’s alright. Whether you’re a guy or a gal, I think it is important to feel good about your appearance, not to a vain extent, but just to be healthy emotionally.

“It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
That she wore for the first time today.” – Brian Hyland

This post was published as a point of view in the July 14, 2011 issue of Islip Bulletin.


K said...

Aw, at first I thought, "Beautiful!" what a perfect thing to say and then I laughed when I read about the beautiful steak :) And here you are stepping out, vulnerable, in a swimsuit! I hope it was a great steak!

Putz said...

your post just reminded me of sad sad days ahead<<>yes i am down in weight but but but my rn nurse says<>,.not enough,.,.,.can't eat icecream, fat steak, butter, noodles, bread pasta of any kind, and she says i need to moniter my blood three times a day<><>,.really feel sorry for me ok????

Loren Christie said...

I feel so sorry for you Mr. Putz- especially about the ban on pasta and ice cream. Poor, Poor Putz! (How's that?)

Loren Christie said...

K, the steak was really good, I have to say.

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


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