In fact, this possible apocalypse could mean I’ll get a few extra days off for the holidays, and won’t have to finish my Christmas shopping, or meet my article deadlines for work next holiday season. I’ll have even bigger decisions to make, like how will I spend my last moments on Earth? Should I max out my credit cards, and then eat until I explode while I give air kisses along with thoughtfully wrapped gift cards to family, friends and complete strangers? Nah, that’s boring. I do that every December.
I hate to admit it, but I’ll probably just stay home drinking hot chocolate and watching Family Man- my favorite Christmas movie- in my blue fuzzy slippers and micro-fleece pajamas. While I wish my last words were something romantic like, “I’ll never let go, Jack. I promise I’ll never let go,” or memorably heroic like,” The only thing we have to fear is FEAR itself,” I’m fairly certain they’ll turn out to be, “If you swing that yo yo again and hit your sister, there will be consequences!”
Actually, I’m OK with that because my life has been good so far and if it ends next December I’ll be grateful for the cool time I’ve had up until now. I’ll be happy that because of my ancient friends’ forewarning, I had enough time to get a pedicure and make sure I’m wearing brand new underwear before the chaos begins.
In truth, we all know that the world is not going to end on a day we expect. Anyone who has ever read The Bible or watched Heroes on NBC knows that’s not how God works. A predictable ending is a boring one. Instead, the end of the world is going to be a day and hour that makes human go:
|That spoonful of chocolate mousse will be one centimeter from my mouth.|
And that’s OK too, as long as it’s entertaining, but just in case The END is not next December 21st, I guess I’ll go back to my regularly scheduled life.
This post went through a lot of drafts. Above is the final version that ended up as a point of view in the January 5th issue of SCN. I'm hoping it will also run in the "My Turn" column of a future issue of LIA as well. -Loren