Friday, December 09, 2011

Kachooz Ka-What?

Imagine you blow your nose and someone puts a plastic face on the tissue and sells it as a toy. The next thing you know, your 6 year-old daughter wants one for Christmas. This year, the “elves” (toy manufacturers located somewhere in China) are laughing their Kachooz off at American parents. What’s a Kachooz, you ask? That’s the name of a new species of dysfunctional pencil toppers, described above, that just happen to be one of the most requested toys this holiday season.

“But Mommy, Kachooz are separated from their moops. You have to collect them all so they can be together,” my daughter told me, completely unaware of the marketing “cookie” lodged in her brain, a result of television exposure.

“What's a moop?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about that, Mama. Santa knows. Just give him my list,” she said, stuffing it in my purse.

So I went to Toys R Us and approached the Information Desk with my daughter’s list in hand.

“I’m looking for a Kachooz,” I said. “Please help.”

“God bless you,” a bleary-eyed young woman in a blue apron said, laughing.

“That’s not funny,” I answered.

“Seriously, I’ve never heard of that. Good luck,” she said.

“Well, can you call someone who knows – like a manager or Santa Claus? Come on, you guys must have his cell number,” I insisted.

But she was so sorry that she had never heard of such a toy and maybe if I looked down aisles one through twelve I might find a Kachooz.

And after circling the store twice, I found them.

It turns out there are six “moops” (which means groups) of Kachooz and these pencil toppers have different personalities. Families of Kachooz have annoying individual quirks- making them so realistic! My daughter requested the 2Faced Kachooz moop. According to the box they are “a pack of moody characters. One day they are sweet and the next day they are rude.”

However, how do I pick just one moop when I’m feeling like I “just gotta have them all?” There is also the Nervous Kachooz, a moop of anxious fur balls who jitter and shake because they are always in a hurry. I also considered a moop of Mohawk Kachooz. They are loud and crazy but always stick to their friends.

So I bought a bunch of Kachooz- the premenstrual moop of 2Faced pencil toppers, (like I really need more drama in my house), because that’s what parents do at Christmas for their kids. I added the Kachooz carry case to my shopping cart and the Kachooz hair salon, because the whole moop of them absolutely needs that to avoid bad hair days. Then I got on line.

“Oh, so that’s what a Kachooz is,” the cashier said, reading the box. "I’ve never heard of this toy,” she added.

“Don’t you remember those fuzzy pencil toppers that were popular in the 1980’s with the googly eyes? I think I had a red one in elementary school,” I said.

But she tells me she doesn’t remember because she was born in 1993, which happens to be the year I graduated from high school.

“That’s not funny,” I said, feeling the urge to mope as I turned to leave with my moody Kachooz moop.

This post is reprinted in the December 15th issue of Long Island Advance ("My Turn" column) and as a point of view in the December 15th Islip Bulletin.

Click here to read about last year's Christmas toy quest: La La Loopsy.


Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

I got a pack of KuKu birds. I thought they were exctinct but you can get them on

Loren Christie said...

Kuku birds? I know a few.

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Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


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