According to a creature who fights battles for animals, PETA, whom I met on GOOGLE while Alpha Dog was in the bathroom, I'm mistreated around here. I'm fed up with having my toys taken away daily and getting kicked in the tail by the short, feisty pup who feeds fake food to her plastic play children. Plus, my recent reconnection via this blog with my long lost brother, Roscoe Dog, has inspired me to escape from this pack of Christies. PETA asked me to join him in his fight for animal rights and after I rescue Roscoe Dog at the Wantagh Animal Shelter, I plan to find PETA and enlist.
Unfortunately, I'm back. The Christies have left the house for a while to hunt for meat. As I'm sure you can guess, I am terribly disappointed that my plans to escape were foiled. When Milk Man came in the door with the breakfast sandwiches, I ran through his legs and down the street with the jump drive. I was looking for the highway, but made a wrong turn. I found myself on a giant lawn with many rounded stones to lift my leg on. The stones had names of packs on them. I was running like crazy to find the exit when I encountered a pirate cat who swore at me, and smacked me in my snoot. Then Milk Man found me and pulled me home again by the ear. The morning was almost a complete failure until I got into the kitchen. The pups knocked over some orange juice to distract Alpha Dog. That's when I spied two egg sandwiches on the counter, left unattended. I finished them off, but now I'm too tired to rescue Roscoe and join PETA. Oh, well, I'll have to rethink my strategy next week. Now I will click on "PUBLISH POST" and go back to watching Animal Planet on my giant couch. Life is still GOOD.