Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Doctor?

I'm a strong princess with pink lip gloss, and the mommy of a tiny baby named John. Once I dropped baby John on his head and he did not cry because he's plastic. I'm not afraid of the doctor like Big Brother. Today Big Brother is sick and we have to go there. Mommy says that if he opens his mouth, and lets the doctor take some of his slimy spit then we can get any kind of ice cream in the world. Big Brother says "No deal, Mom."

Mommy tries to make another deal anyway. She says that if Big Brother opens his mouth and beez good for the doctor he will get to pick out any snack in the world from the store later. Big Brother says "No Deal," but I tell him to take that one. Then we can get the cereal that Daddy buys and eats when mommy is not looking, because she thinks it's evil: Cookie Crisps.

I like Cookie Crisps, and I think the doctor is evil, but I'm not scared. Today Big Brother has to open his mouth and say "AAHH" so we can get the deal from Mommy. "Do it!" I shout, standing on the doctor's step stool to reach him. He's ripping the paper on the doctor's table. "It's not scary! The doctor is a nice lady, Big Brother." (Shh! I not telling the truth.)

She examines my baby John, and that's okay, but when her snaky scope comes after me I whip out my magical wand that Mommy bought at the Disney store. "Hey, put that snaky scope down," I warn. I do some spells on her, but they don't work so I scream and kick. The doctor calls her gang of nurses who fly in and hold my arms down. In the meantime, Big Brother is saying, "Don't be afraid. Open your mouth. Remember the deal." Then the doctor asks me what I want to be when I grow up. I tell her "a boy." I don't know why she and Mommy are laughing a lot. I ask when I will start growing into a boy, like my brothers. Big Brother tells me all the time that I can not be fast-est, because I am a girl. Mommy says that with advances in modern science I should be able to become a boy sooner or later, if my health insurance will cover it, but the doctor doesn't think it will. I wonder if Big Brother will let me play with him and his friends when I become a boy? I squirm away from the nurses and clamp myself to the doorway.

Now all deals are off. I'm not afraid of the doctor, but this is ri-dick-oo-lus. She was ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY supposed to check Big Brother and my plastic baby John. I pull out my wand again and stop that doctor with magic for once and for all. Who is afraid of the doctor? Not me. I'm an action girl hero. "That's not SILLY!" (laugh) Just look at my sparkling lip gloss.
-by the Princess of this house

1 comment:

Milk Man Said... said...

Great picture, they way you recount the story I feel as if I was there.

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.

Fondly,

Loren Christie

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