First, inspired by the book Madame Bovary, a classic I finished reading on the train, I attempted to steal Brad Pitt's heart while my daughter watched me from her stroller. Angelina gave me a waxy glare, but it did not thwart my mischievous intentions. Unfortunately, Brad had the personality of a Yankee candle, and I soon was bored.
I completely forgot about him when I saw Harrison Ford. We were all set to run away together, but he was stuck to the floor and too heavy for me to lift.
I gave up my haughty ways and turned to public service. First I visited the Oval office and charmed President Obama. While he was posing for a photo, I got on the horn and reversed Roe vs. Wade. (Shhh!)
I had my daughter with me the whole time, but of course she had to wait for me while I did all of this important business. There was a nice man in the hall who volunteered to watch her for me. He told me he was a world leader who could be trusted. I thought that was very cool of him.
I was so shocked to run into Pope John Paul II there. He was on a visit from heaven and said it was okay to make me a saint. That was easy!
What an interesting day we had! I sure got a lot done.