Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Christie Pet Christmas Carol... finale

Part IV. The Ghost of Christmas Future/Epilogue

When Hell Hound trotted out the door, she was met by the last creature on Earth she wished to see: Biggy Smalls the pigeon rap artist.

Back in 2003 Hell Hound ate Biggy's brother, and now this bird had a score to settle. Although the dog tried to step gingerly in the snow, the pigeon heard him and looked up from his book.

"HELL HOUND! What up DAWG?! Here we are...ALONE on Christmas Eve. Looks like the Great Pigeon answered my prayers tonight!"

Then, rolling up his invisible sleeves and pushing aside his gold chains, rap artist/pigeon Biggy Smalls advanced toward the dog, who gulped and started inching back in the snow.

"I'm a bout to open up a MEGA can a POLITIKAL IN KORRECTNESS on YOU, Dawg, for eatin' my brotha Clarence in 2003!"

"Hold up pigeon! Now think this through," stammered Hell Hound. "WAIT a minute...Your part in this story is SILENT! Remember? That's the rules..." The dog smiled weakly.

The pigeon stopped in his tracks and threw up his wings.

"Aight," he agreed. Then he made a gesture as if to zip his beak shut.

Next that pigeon pounced on Hell Hound, who yelped in fear. Down they tumbled into a snowy pit. Biggy Smalls flew to the top and pointed downward, indicating that Hell Hound should keep digging.

"Biggy, sir, I didn't know Clarence was your brother. I was not thinking. Forgive me! I will never eat a live animal again. I promise! Don't leave me here in this snowy pit to die! I did not read Call of the Wild like my Lady asked, so I don't have a clue on how to survive out here!"

Biggy Smalls grinned and his face morphed into something hideous: a reflection of all the creatures that Hell Hound had murdered and eaten.

Hell Hound screamed like a woman dog.

Just then, a blurry super hero appeared. It was the Christie Princess, Supergirl, in the flesh.

"Come on Hell Hound. I will save you!"

Hell Hound awoke to pets from the little Christie who saved him from his nightmare.

"Wake up Hell Hound! It's Christmas Day! Santa Claus came for you and he brought you a bone!"

Certainly, this was the most glorious day of Hell Hound's life.
Hell Hound, looking up to heaven to silently thank the great Lion, promised to keep Christmas in her heart and actions for the rest of her...week.


Merry Christmas to the readers of this blog. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



Forgive me for the curse in the first picture, but I thought it was hilarious. It comes from here:
The second pigeon picture comes from here: As you might know, NY got a lot of snow this past weekend, and Hell Hound was tunneling through it merrily on Saturday.


Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

This is so creative! I love the pictures too! Maybe you can find a home for it in an animal lovers' magazine for next Christmas. Merry Christmas!

caitysparkles said...

Hahaha this is so entertaining. I hope you and your family had a great Christmas, Loren!

Loren Christie said...

Hi Caitysparkles, Merry Christmas to you and Josh as well! Love, Loren

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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