Thursday, January 07, 2010

The Loren/Elmo Project


Seven recipes in seven weeks, (come on now, I'm busy), can I ever do it? After seeing the Julie & Julia movie and attempting, but failing to get through reading the book, Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell, I have decided to do a little parody on Dude, Where Am I?. I'll call it,

The Loren & Elmo Project: My Seven Weeks of Screwing Up Preschool Desserts

This idea came to me last night while I was attempting to be a mother extraordinaire who bakes homemade cookies from her William Sonoma Baking cookbook.

While I was standing over the oven watching the world's flattest chocolate chip cookies cool, I had an epiphany. What if I screwed up my way through the "Sweets" section of the Sesame Street cookbook C is for Cooking, by Susan McQuillan just for your entertainment? Would it be a publicity stunt for this blog? Of course. Do I risk the possibility of ticking off Cookie Monster and Elmo? Most definitely. Oh, this is going to be good, I thought. I hope Julie Powell doesn't find out and cleave me.

So I'll start in a few days with Rosita Monster's Honey Pear Crisp. Stay tuned for that. I promise these recipe posts will not become fodder for a movie, unless I get to star as myself opposite Harrison Ford as my controversial, twice-my-age husband. Sorry Milk Man. ;)

Here's how to ruin homemade cookies:
  1. Make the oven too hot
  2. Make the cookies too thin
  3. Don't rotate the pan while baking
  4. Remove the cookies too soon ("Cookies not done yet!" warns chef Cookie Monster.)
  5. Leave them in the pan too long.
OR

Soften the butter in the microwave because you are impatient. Then you get my infamous Flat Stanley cookies shown below. (Close your eyes, Grandma.):

2 comments:

jen said...

hahaha! that is so funny. i actually like those very flat, greasy chocolate chip cookies.

Loren Christie said...

Hi Jen!

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.

Fondly,

Loren Christie

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