Friday, February 12, 2010

Poems for Children and Odd Teenagers

Back in high school I was the odd woman out in the literary magazine club. While other members were writing about teenage angst: misunderstood genius, darkness, love forlorn, my subject matter included talking objects and animals behaving badly. The point of writing this way back then was strictly to amuse myself, and I did. This idea is revived in my Cat & Dog labels on the top navigation bar here. So I came across some of the old stuff today and I'd like to share it here because it still makes me smile, and I know you will too.

A Fresh Meal

Waiter, Waiter! I really should sue!
My tuna screams NO!
My steak just said Moo!
This crab won't let go of my shoe!
Crawfish are crawling up my shirt
If this is a meal, Oh wow, what's dessert?
With this deal I'd rather eat dirt!

My squid is squabbling with a scallop
There's a rat on a raft in my chowder
My baked sea horse is learning to gallop
While the dispute becomes louder and louder.

Three fat dumplings are having a duel
My lobster's a NARC in disguise
This clam says my soup is his pool
These crab cakes are telling me lies!

Waiter, Waiter, Take back this bill
Surely I won't pay the sum
You must cook this meal before I will eat
Really, you must think I'm dumb!

Loren Russell 1992


caitysparkles said...

Those poems are fantastic! I especially love the first one. It made me giggle and I can totally relate.

Loren Christie said...

Goodmorning Caitysparkles, Thank you. You can relate to the first one? Oh wow, dinners must be exciting at your house. Hooray for winter break!

Koala Bear Writer said...

Those are cute! I started out by writing stories about my teddy bears, so I can relate. :)

Loren Christie said...

Hi Koala! I suspected as much!

Sandra said...

Ha! The Pig/Cow one was my favorite!

Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

ROFLOL! I'd say send it to a children's publisher but they might say it's not p.c.

Loren Christie said...

Hi Elizabeth, and Sandra!

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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