Elizabeth Oakes Smith's Pro-Life Poem

The Defrauded Soul, a poem by Elizabeth Oakes Smith, conveys a pro-life message. In fact, there is written evidence to support the idea that two of the greatest early feminists, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were also pro-life.

I am sitting in the rare manuscript reading room at the New York Public Library, drowning myself in cough drops to quiet my noisy cold when I turn the page of 19th century author, poet and women's rights lecturer Elizabeth Oakes Smith's tattered scrapbook to find a poem titled The Defrauded Soul. It begins with a quote:

"There is no crime, alas! so common, - no sin against God so black, -no outrage which the Angels so deplore, as pre-natal infanticide." - Dr. O'Leary

I think my gasp is audible, since I can hear the scratching of #2 pencils on scrap paper, the room is so quiet. I often wonder during my research of Elizabeth Oakes Smith if she ever addressed the life issue back in her day. In the 1800's it was a crime to have an abortion in the United States, and many women died painfully at the hands of inexperienced doctors. I wonder what side of the fence she sat on, being that she was pro-divorce and a very dedicated advocate of the poor.

It seems like every time a question regarding the character of Elizabeth Oakes Smith comes into my mind, an answer within the stacks of microfilm and scrapbooks pops out at me, and then I understand her a little better. Like the others, the poem is meticulously clipped out of a long-lost literary journal. Perhaps it was Godey's Lady's Book, Graham's American Monthly Magazine or the Southern Literary Messenger. Smith's poems, short stories, letters and essays were featured frequently in all of these publications. This strip of browning paper was taped into her own scrapbook and preserved for future generations. I'm sure Smith had her grand-daughters in mind when she wrote winding notes in the margins around the various clippings. Could she have imagined that she was saving her work for me also? I have a feeling she knew, and the words in the fourth stanza give me chills.

The beginning lines establish the story. A young woman is roaming around on a cold, rainy night, tormented by some unknown secret that forces her outdoors. She hears a baby crying from the ground, and suddenly it appears in her arms. The woman asks the child,

"Why dost thou call me- call me low?
Why do I hear thee, when I know
That thou art dead beneath the sod,
And thy dear soul at rest with God?
I hear thee sobbing, under the sod,
And I thought thy soul at home with God."The baby answers:

"O Cruel Mother! my Soul is robbed-
Robbed of the life that mine should be-
Robbed of the soul God meant for me:
I lie in the grave, and weep and sigh-
Alas that an Unborn babe should die!"
The child goes on to explain that it is stuck between two realms, seeing born children enter heaven and being barred from both worlds because of the mother's choice to abort. These lines reflect Elizabeth Oakes Smith's religious belief in the idea of souls in limbo.

The mother cries and sends a prayer up to heaven.

"Oh, God!" she cried, "the mystery! -
The mystery we little see,
Nor half our Motherhood implies,
Which we so wantonly despise;
The sacredness that round us lies;
The sacredness in all our Life;
The sacredness of Mother- Wife;
The foretaste in a holy love
Of God's sweet tenderness above!
Can fast and prayer, at any cost,
Retrieve the Unborn Soul that's lost?"
So the poem ends with a question, a mother's plan to change perspective, and right a wrong.

The Defrauded Soul is the first evidence I find proving Elizabeth Oakes Smith was clearly pro-life, like many of the early feminists. In fact, feminist leaders Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were very outspoken on the life issue.

Susan B. Anthony wrote in her publication The Revolution:
"Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!"

Anthony charged men and women with a responsibility to respect unborn life. She goes on to write:

"All the articles on this subject that I have read have been from men. They denounce women as alone guilty, and never include man in any plans for the remedy."


Elizabeth Cady Stanton also wrote on this topic. She said,

"When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit...There must be a remedy even for such crying evil as this. But where shall it be found? At least, where begin, if not in the complete enfranchisement and elevation of women."

These early feminists were pro-life, and pro-woman at the same time. And to think that some people do not think this is possible? Nat Hentoff, author of the article Revisionist: Her-Story in Boundless Webzine suggests that Ken Burns, producer of the documentary film Not For Ourselves Alone, a documentary on the lives of Stanton and Anthony, purposely left out the pro-life views of these prominent feminists. The film first aired on PBS.

It seems that the definition of the word feminist has been skewed over time. There is a group that currently carries out the views of the early feminists called Feminists for Life. This organization was started in the early 1970's by two women who were kicked out of N.O.W. because of their pro-life views. They oppose capital punishment, abortion, assisted suicide and euthanasia. These feminists seem closer to the real thing to me.

I wonder if EOS would still be pro-life if she lived today? Would her ideas have changed as women gained equality in baby-steps? Would she view human rights for the unborn as a threat to women's rights? Everything I've read about her points to the idea that she was comfortable enough in her own skin, and perceptive enough spiritually to not feel threatened.

Read more at:

Boundless Webzine

Elizabeth Oakes Smith Webpage

The article Revisionist: Her-Story is located at: http://www.boundless.org/2000/departments/isms/a0000260.html
Excerpts from The Defrauded Soul by Elizabeth Oakes Smith were copied from:

Box 3 F. 1 Scrapbook N.Y.P.L. Manuscript Division.
The image above is a copy of a portrait of Elizabeth Oakes Smith ca. 1845 by John Wesley Paradise, Chester Dale Collection, National Gallery of Art, Washington DC.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton quote comes from: Letter to Julia Ward Howe, October 16, 1873, recorded in Howe's diary at Harvard University Library and The Revolution, 1(10):146-7 March 12, 1868

Susan B. Anthony quote comes from her publication: The Revolution, 4(1):4 July 8, 1869

Elizabeth Oakes Smith's Pro-Life Poem

The Defrauded Soul, a poem by Elizabeth Oakes Smith conveys a pro-life message. In fact, there is written evidence to support the idea that two of the greatest early feminists, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were also pro-life.

I am sitting in the rare manuscript reading room at the New York Public Library, drowning myself in cough drops to quiet my noisy cold when I turn the page of a tattered scrapbook to find a poem titled The Defrauded Soul. It begins with a quote:

"There is no crime, alas! so common, - no sin against God so black, -no outrage which the Angels so deplore, as pre-natal infanticide." - Sr. O'Leary

I think my gasp is audible, since I can hear the scratching of #2 pencils on scrap paper, the room is so quiet. I often wonder during my research if Elizabeth Oakes Smith if she ever addressed the life issue in back in her day. In the 1800's it was a crime to have an abortion in the United States, and many women died painfully at the hands of inexperienced doctors. I wondered what side of the fence she sat on, being that she was pro-divorce and a very sensitive advocate of the poor.

It seems like every time a question regarding the character of Elizabeth Oakes Smith comes into my mind, an answer within the stacks of microfilm and scrapbooks pops out at me, and then I understand her a little better. Like the others, the poem is meticulously clipped out of a long-lost literary journal. Perhaps it was Godey's Lady's Book, Graham's American Monthly Magazine or the Southern Literary Messenger. Smith's poems, short stories, letters and essays were featured frequently in all of these publications. This strip of browning paper was taped into her own scrapbook and preserved for future generations. I'm sure Smith had her grand-daughters in mind when she wrote winding notes in the margins around the various clippings. Could she have imagined that she was saving her work for me also? I have a feeling she knew, and the words in the fourth stanza give me chills.

The beginning lines establish the story. A young woman is roaming around on a cold, rainy night, tormented by some unknown secret that forces her outdoors. She hears a baby crying from the ground, and suddenly it appears in her arms. The woman asks the child,

"Why dost thou call me- call me low?
Why do I hear thee, when I know
That thou art dead beneath the sod,
And thy dear soul at rest with God?
I hear thee sobbing, under the sod,
And I thought thy soul at home with God."

The baby answers:

"O Cruel Mother! my Soul is robbed-
Robbed of the life that mine should be-
Robbed of the soul God meant for me:
I lie in the grave, and weep and sigh-
Alas that an Unborn babe should die!"

The child goes on to explain that it is stuck between two realms, seeing born children enter heaven and being barred from both worlds because of the mother's choice to abort. These lines reflect Elizabeth Oakes Smith's religious belief in the idea of souls in limbo.

The mother cries and sends a prayer up to heaven.

"Oh, God!" she cried, "the mystery! -
The mystery we little see,
Nor half our Motherhood implies,
Which we so wantonly despise;
The sacredness that round us lies;
The sacredness in all our Life;
The sacredness of Mother- Wife;
The foretaste in a holy love
Of God's sweet tenderness above!
Can fast and prayer, at any cost,
Retrieve the Unborn Soul that's lost?"

So the poem ends with a question, a mother's plan to change perspective, and right a wrong.

A Defrauded Soul is the first evidence I find proving Elizabeth Oakes Smith was clearly pro-life, like many of the early feminists. In fact, feminist leaders Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton were very outspoken on the life issue.

"The woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed." said Anthony. "It will burden her conscience in life. It will burden her soul in death."

"When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." said Stanton. "There must be a remedy even for such crying evil as this (abortion). But where shall it be found? At least, where begin, if not in the complete enfranchisement and elevation of women."

These early feminists were pro-life, and pro-woman at the same time. And to think that some people do not think this is possible? Nat Hentoff, author of the article Revisionist: Her-Story on Boundless Webzine suggests that Ken Burns, producer of the documentary film Not For Ourselves Alone, a documentary on the lives of Stanton and Anthony, purposely left out the pro-life views of these prominent feminists. The film first aired on PBS. It seems that the idea of the feminist has been skewed over time. Many of these founding women were deeply religious people. There is an organization that currently carries out the views of the early feminists called Feminists for Life. They opposing capital punishment, abortion, assisted suicide and euthanasia. These feminists seem closer to the real thing to me. I think I am more like this kind of feminist.

I wonder if EOS would still be pro-life if she lived today? Would her ideas have changed as women gained equality in baby-steps? Would she view human rights for the unborn as a threat to women's rights? Everything I've read about her points to the idea that she was comfortable enough in her own skin, and perceptive enough spiritually to not feel threatened.

Read more at:
Boundless Webzine

Elizabeth Oakes Smith Webpage

Excerpts from The Defrauded Soul by Elizabeth Oakes Smith was copied from:

Box 3 F. 1 Scrapbook N.Y.P.L. Manuscript Division.

The image above is a copy of a portrait of Elizabeth Oakes Smith ca. 1845 by John Wesley Paradise, Chester Dale Collection, National Gallery of Art, Washington DC.

Sharing My Cousin's Research

My cousin Sandra graduated from college this past winter with a Bachelor of Science degree in social sciences, minoring in psychology. (I'm SO proud of her!) She did some interesting group research for one of her final papers that included field work at a Planned Parenthood facility. Sandra has allowed me to share her research paper and field experience below because, like me, she is passionate about the life issue.

What I found so interesting about my cousin's research is the idea that most women who terminate pregnancies have some level of college education, and that women who belong to pro-life religious groups don't necessarily chose life when faced with the decision. Also my cousin's feelings, based on her field work experience, that Planned Parenthood seems to counsel with a bias towards the option of abortion, and a lack of materials and support in the area of choosing life is something I have long suspected without proof.

The rest of this post is in my beautiful, strong, smart (not so little anymore) cousin's words.
(I love you, Sandra.)

This is directly from the research paper-

The paper analyzed and researched the reasons why women seek abortions. We found that
the decision to abort or to continue a pregnancy is based on many factors, including, but not limited to: religion, education, income and marital status.

Never-married women obtain 2/3 of all abortions. Most women getting abortions (83%) are unmarried; 67% have never married, and 16% are separated, divorced, or widowed. (NAF,2003) Single women who know the father will not participate in caring for the child may feel as though having the abortion would result in better outcomes for everyone involved. “Unmarried women were more likely than married women to say their abortion was mainly motivated by relationship problems.” (The Alan Guttmacher Institute, 2005). Many feel that the most responsible course of action is to wait until their situation is more suited to child rearing; 66% plan to have children when they are older, financially able to provide necessities for them, and/or in a supportive relationship with a partner so their children will have two parents. (National Abortion Federation)

The level of education of a woman also plays a role in her decision on whether or not to abort. 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school, or other responsibilities. (GRTL,2009) Perhaps it is because of the years of school a woman intends to complete, that she opts for an abortion. Having a child could come into opposition with these plans. Of the women obtaining abortions in 2003, 57% had some college education. (National Abortion Federation, 2003)

Many women who report having strong religious beliefs will terminate a pregnancy despite those beliefs. Forty-three percent of women getting an abortion identify as Protestant & 27% as Catholic (Guttmacher Institute, 2005). So even though these religions make it very clear that abortion is 'sinful,' it does not seem like all followers abide by these religious rules.

The income of an individual impacts the decision to have an abortion. “The decision to have an abortion is rarely simple. Most women base their choice on several factors, the most common being a lack of money and/or not feeling prepared to start or expand their families due to existing responsibilities.”(National Abortion Federation)


On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 2/3 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner. (GRTL,2009) Most of the studies concluded that women frequently end pregnancies because of education goals, religion, marital status, and income.

This is what my cousin shared with me in conversation regarding the field work at Planned Parenthood:

In order to conduct the research my group members and I were asked to go out and do field work. A suggestion was to visit Planned Parenthood in order to collect information on why people make the decision to abort. My thoughts at this point were that any information they could offer would be really beneficial to our project.

The place was really difficult to find because it’s basically hidden. Now, I completely understand confidentiality issues, but this isn’t therapy. The secluded nature of the property made me feel as if people who are going there know they are doing something wrong.

After explaining who we were and why we were there, we were directed to the attention of a “counselor,” who seemed very willing to talk with us. After only about 15 minutes I learned that:

“Having a baby is a big decision not unlike picking the color of a brand new car,”

and

“Sometimes girls in college are too far away from home to have a baby.”

What?! It was more than challenging to keep my cool during this meeting. I left not without bringing it to everyone’s attention that I am a proud, young, single mother who is currently finishing school. I also left feeling sick to my stomach. The counselor did not mention anything about choosing life, even when I spoke up about my personal experience. These are the kind of people we have influencing young pregnant women? I think this kind of organization shouldn't be allowed to run anymore, especially because it doesn't give equal time to "counseling" life options upfront. The lives of innocent victims are being wasted and Planned Parenthood takes part largely in their deaths.

My daughter was not a choice. She was a gift, and she is the greatest one I’ve ever received.

Notes:
the statistics in Sandra's paper were taken from:

Abigail, W (2008 June). Changing patterns in women seeking terminations of pregnancy: A trend analysis of data from one service provider 1996-2006 . Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health, 32

Adamczyk, A (2008 June). The effects of religious contextual norms, structural constraints, and personal religiosity on abortion decisions. Social Science Research, 37

Chervenak, ,F (2008, Sept). The ethics of direct and indirect referral for termination of pregnancy. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 199.3

Tanne, J (2009 Nov 29). van Emmerick, A (2008 Nov/Dec). Prevalence and prediction of re-experiencing and avoidance after elective surgical abortion: a prospective study. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 15, . British Medical Journal, 337

Letter to Tim Bishop (D-NY) Concerning the Life Issue

I wrote to Congressman Tim Bishop concerning the life issue, and here is his response:

February 24, 2010

Dear Mr. Christie,

Thank you for expressing you views regarding abortion. It is important for me to have the benefit of your views, and I appreciate you taking the time to contact me.

I recognize the deep feelings that accompany views on both sides of the abortion debate. As a practicing Catholic, a husband, and a father, I have spent years thinking about the issue and respect the diverse opinions Americans hold on this issue.

As the Congressional representative for Eastern Long Island, I strongly believe that women in America must have the legal right to choose an abortion, with the advice of their doctors and trusted confidantes. Legislating the outcome of this decision would be an undue intrusion on the rights of women, as well as the confidential relationship between doctor and patient. Furthermore, outlawing the operation will not end the practice of abortion in America , but rather force it underground and expose women to unacceptable health risks.

I share the concerns of many of my constituents regarding late-term abortions, and have said that I would support a ban on late-term abortions if it includes an exception that encompasses the life and the health of the mother. Public laws should not attempt to overrule a doctor's professional judgment on crucial medical decisions regarding a patient's health.

I must balance a broad range of opinions when considering legislation that will affect the lives of millions across America . Please be assured that I will keep your views in mind as legislation that affects abortion policy is considered in the House of Representatives in the 111th Congress.

Thank you again for sharing your views. If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me. For more information and to find out about other important issues that I am working on in Congress, I encourage you to visit my website at www.timbishop.house.gov and sign up for my e-newsletter.

Sincerely,

Tim Bishop
Member of Congress

So, I wrote to Congressman Bishop again:

Dear Mr. Bishop,

It is hypocritical to say you are a "practicing Catholic" and also be pro-abortion. As a practicing Catholic, you should be doing all you are able to do in your position of political power to secure human rights for the unborn, since all Catholics are called to seek social justice.

I am happy that you say you would support a ban on late-term abortion. As a woman, I do not feel threatened by the idea of giving rights to the unborn. As it stands, a person can get an abortion for any reason at all. This is clearly wrong!! The unborn should have some protection under the law. It should not be an easy thing to do in cases where women and men feel the pregnancy is inconvenient.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Loren Christie

News Flash: Loren Agrees With President Obama (for a second)

"We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one."
-- President Barack Obama

It's not that I think that men don't step up to the plate when they become fathers; many of them do. However, it seems to be an overwhelming trend today in America that young men are walking away from parenthood. President Obama promotes the following website to support his quest to encourage fathers to step up.

http://www.fatherhood.gov/

Wow! That's a hopeful step in the direction of expanding women's rights, truly.

Letter to Senator Schumer (D) NY on the Life Issue

I wrote to Senator Chuck Schumer (D) NY about how a health care reform bill that includes taxpayer funding of abortion takes away my right to oppose abortion and further trivializes the sanctity of human life in America. Here's how he responded:

Dear Friend:

Thank you for your letter opposing taxpayer funding of abortion in health care reform. As the father of two daughters, I share your deep respect for the sanctity of life and realize the importance of honoring one’s moral and religious heritage. I also value the freedom of all American citizens to base their personal choices on their own values and moral convictions. I also support measures that aim to reduce the number of abortions, and I believe that education and prevention are critical to achieving that.The decision to have an abortion will never be an easy one, nor should it be. While I believe that every woman should have the right to make her own decision, in counsel with her physician, family, and religious adviser, I also believe that funding programs that aim to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies is essential.Thank you for contacting me on this important issue. Please do not hesitate to contact me in the future if I can ever be of assistance to you on this or any other matter.

Sincerely,
Charles E. Schumer
United States Senator

So I wrote him again:

Dear Senator Schumer,

Thank you for your response to my letter. Abortion is not just a women's rights issue. It is a human rights issue. Do you believe that people who choose to take the life of another (born) person have the right to sit down with their clergymen and counselors to decide whether or not to commit that act which our government has deemed a crime? I'm not saying that I think abortion is a black and white issue, with no grey area; I don't believe that. However, when abortions take place because the mother and/or father of the unborn child decides that he or she is not ready to be a parent, and that the child's conception is a "mistake," this freedom to snuff out a life because of selfishness is clearly a great evil. Abortion should not cost less than a flat screen television, and the silent, tiny unborn child should have a degree of human rights. If you truly respect the sanctity of human life, you will modify your stance on this issue, and work to give the most vulnerable Americans human rights. As a nation, we are rich enough to "want" all of our children. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It's a great blessing for both an unborn child at risk and a couple who yearns to be parents.

Sincerely,
Loren Christie
New York

Then, I got a response to this second letter: a copy of his first letter, above.

As long as I have a mouth and two feet I'm not going to stay passive on this issue. I just can't. I'm not sure if Senator Schumer and I are really "friends." ;)

Why My Letter Will be Read

I wrote in a previous post about an email letter campaign I'm starting for human rights for the unborn. This is why my letter will eventually be read if I send it every day (see video below). Here's my letter again. Won't you join me?

Dear President Obama,

Please address this question: If it is illegal to destroy an eagle egg, why in America is it legal to destroy a child in the womb?
Please reconsider your position on the life issue. It is not just a question of women's rights, it is about granting human rights for the unborn. There is room in our Constitution for both.

Sincerely,
Loren Christie
New York

Get Loud With Me

I consider myself to be a smart, educated, compassionate person. I am not naive; I am loving and hopeful. I am pro-life, and joining in the fight for human rights for the unborn does not make me feel threatened as a woman. I believe there can be an America where women and unborn babies are both respected and protected by laws. It's not women's rights vs. the rights of the unborn, it's human rights for all Americans, and we all fall into that category.

When I took my old cat Princess Leah to be put to sleep, I felt guilty. She was blind, wetting herself, bleeding from the eyes, and still I asked the vet, "Am I doing the right thing?"
He told me that I was. Then he said something that made me think of the abortion issue, although he'd never guess what was going through my mind.

"Whatever you want I have to do. If you say you want to put your cat to sleep, healthy or not, I just do it. I don't question you. It's your choice."

Isn't a woman seeking an abortion told the same thing? I thought. How horrible that the fate of millions of unborn humans is also determined with an equal amount of emotional detachment. American society, in a pro-choice, politically correct frenzy, has reduced the value of a human fetus to that of a domestic pet in this country. Some people even put pets in strollers and dress them like children. Forgive me for saying so, (I do love my pets and pretend that they talk), but strollers and raincoats for Hell Hound and Norman Whiskers?! That's stupid.

This is a profound argument in favor of human rights for the unborn:

"... in the United States we have stringent federal laws that protect not only the national bird, the bald eagle, but also that eagle's eggs. If you were to chance upon some of them in a nest out in the wilderness, it would be illegal for you to destroy those eggs. By the force of law, we recognize how the egg of the bald eagle, that is to say, the embryonic eagle inside that egg, is the same creature as the glorious bird that we witness flying high overhead. Therefore we pass laws to safeguard not only the adult but also the very youngest member of that species. Even atheists can see how a bald eagle's eggs should be protected; it's really not a religious question at all. What's so troublesome is how we are able to understand the importance of protecting the earliest stages of animal life but when it comes to our own human life, a kind of mental disconnect takes place. Our moral judgement quickly becomes murky and obtuse when we desire to do certain things that are not good, like having abortions, or destroying embryonic humans for their stem cells."

- “Imposing Our Beliefs on Others" REV. TADEUSZ PACHOLCZYK, PH.D.

Hooray for Rev. Pacholczyk. I've decided to email this idea to President Obama every day I possibly can get to a computer for the rest of his term in office. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, as the saying goes. If you'd like to help me be squeaky in this case, then join me. Here's how:

Copy the following email and paste it in the suggestion box on the White House email comments form. It will only take two minutes of your day.

Dear President Obama,

Please address this question: If it is illegal to destroy an eagle egg, why in America is it legal to destroy a child in the womb?

Please reconsider your position on the life issue. It is not just a question of women's rights, it is about granting human rights for the unborn. There is room in our Constitution for both.

Sincerely,
(Your name, state)

Here's the link to the White House email form letter.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

Thank you for helping me do what's unpopular: protect the unborn.

"Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

Petition

You may be interested in signing this petition. It calls for the protection of the family and the unborn child. Click on the picture to read more.

Our Founding Mothers Are Rolling Over In Their Graves

What would Elizabeth Oakes-Smith think of today's modern feminist and what would she say about the progress women in America have made towards equal citizenship? I don't think she'd be satisfied. As the minister Ernest Helfenstein, (which was also Oakes-Smith's pen name for several years), says in Bertha and Lilly; Or The Parsonage of Beech Glen, realizing that the parish regards him as their property:

"As these thoughts rushed through my brain, I felt what a slave I was, and walked the floor, calmly, yet with a kind of resolution such as the shackled bondman feels who has resolved to be free." (130 Oakes-Smith)

This resolution underscored every step of Elizabeth's life, and every public word she ever spoke in regard to women's rights. It was the problem of economic inequality that vexed her the most, I think. Again, the minister in the story complains,

"I had said that the system of providing for the poor made poverty, and old age, and misfortune disgraceful. That no distinction could be shown between vice and misfortune in the present system. The woman born into affluence might be married- her property, by that act of marriage, passed out of her hands into those of her husband. He became a spendthrift, and inebriate, a gambler- she had no redress. He squandered her whole estate and died a beggar. His wife, this early minion of fortune, covered with shame, and disgraced in the eyes of the world, by no act of her own, heart-broken, and overcome by the infirmities of age, is brought to the alms-house, with the hundreds who are carried thither by their vices." (129 Oakes-Smith)

Economic equality was part of the early feminist platform, but by 1900, women were settling for getting the vote, and the cause was shifting. Elizabeth Oakes-Smith died in 1893. She lived to see women obtain the right to go to college, hold, control and will property, control their own wages, and become the joint guardian to their own children. Although she spoke up publicly to bring about these changes, she did not enjoy the benefits of this legislation in its infancy.


At the Woman's Right's Convention of 1852, she spoke along with Susan B. Anthony and Lucretia Mott, trying to balance the idea of the "angel in the house" with the practical. She stressed eloquently that the right to vote was essential in being considered a full citizen, since a woman's property and wages could be taxed. She went on to say the need for women to be educated and skilled was necessary to keep them out of poverty. The role of wife and mother she emphasized as being the most vital to the success of a nation.


I can remember my mother telling me at a young age how important my education was, and how essential it was for me to go on to college and establish the ability to step into a career. It was her firm belief that economic independence would protect me from poverty and the need to depend on a husband for support. Thank you mom. Mom wasn't giving this lecture because she thought men were scoundrels, on the contrary, my father is a devoted, loving, loyal spouse. She was saying this to me because there is dignity, freedom and a feeling of wholeness in developing one's talents and skills. She wanted economic equality for me, and personal fulfillment. That's also what Elizabeth Oakes-Smith wanted for women in a time when they did not have much choice in the matter. She wrote:

"Since every human being has an individual sphere, ...no one has the right to determine the proper sphere of another." (taken from an anthology of Women's Activists of New York)

How far have we come at equal citizenship? Not far enough. What happens to a woman today, college educated or not, when she has a baby out-of-wedlock? She is at the mercy of the father of that child, economically. Paternity laws for unwed fathers vary from state to state, and there is some public confusion in regard to this issue because of the inconsistency. In New York, if an unwed father does not develop a relationship with the child and help pay for the birth expenses, he has no adoption rights.* A court in this state can force a DNA test to establish paternity, and then the father is forced to support the child financially. Still, the mother bears the responsibility of nurturing, caring for and raising a baby whether the father wants to take part or not. She is often faced with the added emotional crisis during pregnancy to "catch him," which may or may not happen. Journalist for the NY Times Lisa Belkin discusses this reality on her blog Motherlode, in the post Why Unmarried Fathers Stay. The unwed father can walk away care-free from that birth. Then the full load of consequences falls on the woman. If he does the right thing and takes responsibility, the woman's life is still the one that is drastically stressed by the birth of a baby. So the miracle of new life becomes an event that spurs depression and panic for a woman in this situation, and if she is not supported by family, the situation can become economically desperate for her and the child. The unborn child is even poorer in this case than its mother, in that as a fetus, he is at her mercy as to whether or not he will be born. We certainly still have a long way to go in regard to giving all of our citizens equality in this country!

What happens to a mother who goes through a divorce today? She also suffers economic crisis. She is at the mercy of the courts and her ex-husband in regard to child support. Why is this?

What makes women economically disadvantaged? Motherhood. Motherhood, which I believe is a blessing from God, the subject of a national holiday, also causes women to be poorer than men in this country.

If this society wants a nation full of spiritually, academically and physically sound children to take over in future generations, then people in the media and in the street have to stop devaluing motherhood and the job of parenting.

Am I saying that women who stay at home to raise their children should be given a salary by the government, and that working moms should be given a stipend for childcare as well? Well, I don't expect it, but if President Obama is giving out cash for clunkers to preserve the environment, why not consider giving mothers the respect they deserve? Won't that shift in attitude result in happier children who are higher achievers? Then perhaps we could preserve our summer vacation for family time, Mr. Obama. Seriously, what I am proposing is that in the very least, men should be forced to pay child support and actively care for the children they father, married or not. If mothers stay at home, they most certainly are working. If they are in the work place as well then they have twice the work. In her book The Price of Motherhood; Why the most important job in the world is still the least valued, Ann Crittenden argues that people say that being a mother is the hardest job in the world, but they don't really mean it. They have been taught by media messages that the job of parenting does not require skill, and it is not "real work." In reality the raising of children is the work that will be our greatest legacy as individuals, and as a nation. Instead we have been advised that "it takes a village to raise a child." Young children just want their parents, equally, but the expectation for sacrifice is more on the mother.

"It isn't fair that mothers' life -sustaining work forces women to be society's involuntary philanthropists. It isn't fair to expect mothers to make sacrifices that no one else is asked to make, or have virtues that no one else possesses, such as a dignified subordination of their personal agenda and a reliance on altruism for life's meaning. Virtues and sacrifices, when expected of one group of people and not of everyone, becomes the mark of an underclass." (9)


Our founding mothers are rolling over in their graves. Women who choose to step out of the workforce to raise children face remarks like:


"What do you do all day? Don't you get bored?"

My answer: "YES, and my work is valuable. Go away."

"Establishing a fair deal for mothers would go beyond "wages for housewives," an idea that surfaced in the 1970's; or even mother's benefits similar to veteran's benefits. What is needed is across-the-board recognition- in the workplace, in the family, in the law, and in social policy - that someone has to do the necessary work of raising children and sustaining families, and that the reward for such vital work should not be professional marginalization, a loss of status, and an increased risk of poverty." (46)

Thank God I have a loving, dependable husband. I quit my career to raise my children full-time. That leaves me relying on him solely for health benefits, pension, and insurance. I'm college educated, work just as hard as any adult I know and I am completely economically dependent in this position. It's no wonder to me why the stay-at-home mom has such a stigma in society. For me there was emotionally no other choice. I completely followed my heart in this matter and prayed that it would work out, but I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't a scary risk. Some women, especially single moms, don't have this option, because the economic and emotional responsibility of raising a child falls more heavily on women.

Elizabeth Oakes-Smith suggested that a mother should work outside the home if she desires it, but she upheld the idea that a duty to children and the home takes precedence. She wanted an America where both sexes took part equally in raising children, and a government that rewards mothers and does not marginalize them. It seems to me that often the workplace is intolerant of women employees who put their children before their job.

"Inflexible workplaces guarantee that many women will have to cut back on, if not quit, their employment once they have children." (5)

Economic equality for women is part of a larger issue: human dignity. We've got the power to vote, so how about putting real feminists in office, who encourage mothers and fathers to be present caregivers, who promote the protection of unborn citizens, who reject violent means of dealing with criminals? Respect for life and human dignity is true freedom. This is the sort of shift that will make our nation better. The modern-day Republican and Democratic parties slice up the human dignity cause, backing some aspects and rejecting others. Neither party reflects the original feminist platform. In the 1860's Elizabeth Oakes-Smith was a nominee for Presidential and Vice Presidential candidate on the Women's Suffrage ticket. She was an authentic feminist, anti-Capital Punishment, pro-family, pro-life, supporting economic equality for all citizens of the United States. The early feminists are rolling over in their graves; they want us to remember who they really were and reject the modern mutation of their cause. I really want to see a woman become President, however, I've yet to see a real feminist, (one like Elizabeth Oakes-Smith), on a recent Presidential or Vice-presidential ticket.

"The United States is a society at war with itself. The policies of American business, government and the law do not reflect Americans' stated values." (5)

*For more information of the rights of Unwed Fathers in NY State, click here.

The Audacity of Power

Readers, you knew this post was coming...I just can't help myself. There are so many problems to tackle right now as President of the United States. Why chip away at something good: the legislation the Bush administration established to protect the unborn? WHAT'S THE POINT? Before this post turns totally ugly, take a look at the email I received that prompted it:

"President Obama has lifted a ban on federal funding for international groups that promote or perform abortions, reversing a policy of his predecessor, George W. Bush.Obama's actions mean that hundreds of millions of your tax dollars will go to help groups like Planned Parenthood perform abortions around the world. His actions came one day after the 36th anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade Supreme Court ruling that legalized abortion in all 50 states. Please take the action suggested below. It will not cause Obama to reverse his decision, but it will send a notice to him that unborn babies are human and deserve the same rights as the born. Take Action!"

If you agree with me, write an email like the one I just wrote,(see below), or just copy mine and send our new LEADER some mail. Here's his address:
http://capwiz.com/politicsol/mail/?id=3181&lvl=F&chamber=P

President Obama,
Is it in the best interest of the American people to promote and approve laws that will secure the dehumanization of the unborn? Please examine your conscience and shift your stance on the abortion issue. Your actions involving the life issue thus far are not admirable. You claim that government should not interfere with family affairs. By approving laws that will remove restrictions on abortions, government IS interfering anyway. The government has a DUTY to protect all its citizens. Shame on the people who use rhetoric to justify the dehumanization of unborn Americans. All Americans deserve protection under the law, including the most vulnerable: a child growing in the womb. There is no HOPE for a nation that does not honor human life. I am not alone in my opinion, but would speak up even if I were.

Sincerely,
Loren Christie

This rant is OFFICIALLY over, for now. Read more here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090123/ap_on_go_pr_wh/obama_abortion_ban

Okay, maybe it's not over yet. Now I'm going to steal my mother's catch-phrase. I just have ONE more thing to say:

Here's a REAL picture of hope. This first-time mom had quintuplets despite hardship and health risks.

Here's what she said:
















"These children are blessings from God," said Malual, who comes from a family of a devout Christian. "He brought them to me, protected them through all that time. So for the future, I think I must live day by day. God will provide."


Click below to read the story of this ordinary hero.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2009/01/22/ST2009012204058.html?sid=ST2009012204058&s_pos=list

Life is Sacred

"The Miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk
on the water, but to walk on Earth."

- Chinese Proverb

My life is extraordinary. I was born in a blizzard, my eyes wide open in surprise. My father was the first person I ever saw. My screams followed, low at first, then gaining power like the revving of an engine. Knowing myself, I can guess I was angry, having suddenly slid out of my comfort zone and into the 1970's.

In kindergarten we sat with our hands folded in our laps in peach, baby blue and yellow seats arranged in a horseshoe. It was the first day. The teacher called my name and I raised my hand.

"I'm special." I thought, when I heard my name announced formally. I still remember this. At that age, I had already been given the gift of Knowing the Sacredness of My Life by my parents and extended family. This is the greatest gift one can be given.

My grandmother's living room was my castle. The windows of my fortress were covered in heavy orange tasseled curtains, very luxurious in my five year old mind's eye. I sat on my throne, (a green high back chair), and spoke importantly to no one visible. I ate cookies secretly leaning over the marble coffee table, while I stared out at cars passing on the suburban street: my kingdom. I lined up my stuffed animal friends and made them suffer through grand speeches about the importance of using the potty every time.

No much has changed. The same marble table is placed in my living room now and the princess is poised on a loveseat, magic wand extended over Mr. Norman Whiskers.

"To follow me into the land of the fairies, press the X on your remote control." She's addressing the cat who stares back at her with dull eyes.

Okay, maybe some things are different. As I look at her, however, I smile from behind the door frame. I can see that she already values herself, as I was taught to do. I honestly believe that if every person embraced the idea that we are each special, and that our physical bodies are highly valuable, the world would be different. I try to foster this belief in each of my children.

President George W. Bush declared January 18th National Sanctity of Human Life Day. Here's what he said:

“The sanctity of life is written in the hearts of all men and women. On this day and throughout the year, we aspire to build a society in which every child is welcome in life and protected in law. We also encourage more of our fellow Americans to join our just and noble cause. History tells us that with a cause rooted in our deepest principles and appealing to the best instincts of our citizens, we will prevail.”

I know it sounds corny, but "I am special" is a lesson that can lead a child to great accomplishments and strengths. If we teach our children and ourselves to value life, then the world will change for the better.

"Do you not know that you are a temple of the Holy Spirit, which dwells
within you? You are not your own." - 1 Corinthians 3:16

Response to Senator Barack Obama's Win

Keeping an open mind is not an easy task, especially for someone who is extremely fired up about a situation that violates social justice. Sometimes we are called to take a stand in life and be the voices, hands and feet that make a change for the good of humanity. To me, that's what being pro-life is all about.

It's not that I don't care about the economy, the quality of education, heath care, retirement, the war; I do. I care about these issues very much, but my conscience is screaming. The life issue takes precedence over all others for me, because I wholeheartedly believe that if people treat human life with respect and reverence, then a change will occur in all areas.

Today I am sad about the position our president elect holds regarding the sanctity of human life, but I am not discouraged. I do all I can to fight against this injustice. Before the election, I organized a voter registration drive in my community and I prayed for God's will in the election. This is the outcome, so I just have to trust that answer.

It is possible that our president elect and other pro-choice leaders will have a change of heart regarding the life issue, because nothing is impossible with God. I will still make noise until abortion is viewed as what it really is: murder.

Some people say that abortion is a choice. True, God gave us free will. However, governments recognize that murder is detrimental to the function of civilized societies, so there are laws against taking the lives of others. The same should be for the unborn.

When I was pregnant three times, I didn't want to hear my OBGYN pressure me to get tests to determine if there were birth defects, sliding forms in front of me to sign proving I waived my right to the tests in case there were complications. I didn't want to hear the word "termination" in regard to human life at my doctor's office. Why are doctors, who are supposed to help us be healthy, counseling women to make choices that will emotionally cripple them for life?

If you've read my previous posts, then you know that Baby Bigfoot was not easy as an unborn person. I could have lost his life because of unexplained bleeding. During the pregnancy, I was crying in the doctor's office. I said to the doctor on call, "Please tell me what I need to do to keep this baby alive." Her response was cold and clinical. "Let's just focus on YOU, and YOUR health. IF the baby becomes viable, then we'll look at options for a safe delivery." Just look at Baby Bigfoot, (see post before this one). He is so beautiful, a kind, sweet little soul. I knew his soul at 13 weeks, when I started to bleed. Can you understand my rage in that office at that moment?!

Pregnancy is a sacrifice. Women sacrifice on so many levels to bring children into this world. Our instinct should be to protect our young, and our health care providers should support this instinct, not discourage it! Every pregnancy is a unique situation, and doctors should promote life, and not confuse families faced with pregnancy challenges. Some people say that the life issue is the private business of the pregnant woman, and that pro-lifers should keep their noses out of it. I say, as a human with a conscience, MANKIND IS MY BUSINESS. I don't need to be visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve to learn this lesson. We are all called to stand up for what is right. I will continue to do so, and pray for a change.

Add the abortion ticker to a blog/site/profile.

Why I Love Facebook and Sarah Palin, Plus: Other Thoughts That May Annoy You

I just received a news flash on Yahoo. "Paris Hilton wants a best friend whose hot and loyal." I guess I have room for one more friend on Facebook, but she's so irritatingly fake. Sorry Paris. Hell Hound is available if you're that desperate. Lately, I'm more interested in real people, which brings me to the topic of my significant other, Milk Man, who just walked in the door from a conference in Niagara Falls. He talked me into joining Facebook last week, and now I have more friends than he does. "How did that happen?" He wonders aloud, as he looks over my shoulder while I type this post. "Simple. People finally realized how cool I am." I say.

The interesting thing about Facebook is that you get to compare your perception of classmates back then, to now. Back then, there were clicks and expectations. Meeting up online after several years, you realize how similar we all really are. Suddenly, people are taking off their adolescent masks are revealing adult faces. The normalcy of my classmates in the overplayed "real world" is fun to ponder.

This is why I love Facebook; now let's talk about Sarah Palin. First of all, she is admirable, unlike Hillary Clinton, who might as well be one of Darth Vader's army of droids. In a country where 90% of fetuses determined to have Down Syndrome are terminated, this small-town mother from Alaska holds her son up proudly from a national stage. Her nonverbal message is: This is my child, a gift, whom I accept no matter what. He is a beautiful human being who deserves life. One might think that she is inexperienced, however, she has the right heart for the job of VP, and she's a hard worker. Also, never, in the history of formal Vice Presidential, or Presidential debates, has a candidate done a "shout out" to people back home. This my friends, is an American I can relate to. Now, if she challenges Joe Biden to a thumb war, she'll be like one of my own family. All I can say is: Break that ceiling, girlfriend.

Loren Practices the Art of "Shut Up and Listen"

I'm fascinated by people who practice meditation. The idea of clearing one's mind is hard for my current mommy brain to comprehend. Even when I get a quiet moment, the voices in my head, (you know readers, the normal ones) are so loud and distracting. Some people say meditation gives one an opportunity to "hear" God speaking. Interesting. So I try it a few times... Nothing. I continue to go about the business of my small life, but the difference is now I'm trying to listen.... Still nothing.

I went away for a weekend with a group of my girlfriends because I needed a break. We did all the things little girls do except we're not little. We played ridiculous board games, ate chocolate fondue, went out to a karaoke bar, (okay, little girls don't do that), and spent one day at a spa.

At the spa I had an opportunity to get a massage, something I had never done before. There were two masseuses. One was a grinning old man with twisty fingers. The other was a female college student; it was her first day on the job. Readers, I think you know me well enough to guess who I went with. That's right. No thanks, old man.

In a soothing, quiet room I'm making small talk with my masseuse. She asks me what I do for a living. I tell her I work part-time as a youth director. She's intrigued. "What's that like?" I tell her that it can be really fun, but since teens deal with a lot of serious issues, it is also tricky sometimes. The conversation meanders along. The next thing I know, we're talking about suicide. I'm rambling on. "I've known kids who contemplated it, and it's scary, because you know they look up to you. What you do, or don't do, can make a difference in their lives." I stop there. She is suddenly quiet. On one hand, I think I should change the subject, but I have this other thought that I should continue. "The one thing you have understand is that suicide is a decision a person makes under a lot of stress. Ultimately, the decision is made alone, and it is never the fault of others." The masseuse asks, "What do you think happens to people who kill themselves?" I pause. I feel like I'm at work, and should be careful wording my response. "You want to know what my personal opinion is about it?" She nods. "Well, I think God's capacity to forgive is beyond human understanding. I think those who choose suicide want the people they love to know they are okay."

I sit up, my massage is over. Wow, that was uplifting! My masseuse has glassy eyes; she's fighting back tears. I feel dumb, and upset that she is crying. "Are you okay?" I ask, awkwardly. All choked up, she says, "You look exactly like this girl I know. She's my best friend. I got mad at her and we stopped speaking. Last week she committed suicide."

That was probably the creepiest moment of my life, not counting the time a "psychic" neighbor put items that would "cleanse my house of spirits" on my doorstep. I was at a loss for words, but I felt really moved. Later, the more I thought about the conversation, the more I recognized it as God at work in my life. I listened to the urge to keep talking about an uncomfortable subject, and unknowingly brought some peace to a complete stranger.

What I learned from that chance meeting was that God is speaking to me all the time, actually. The thoughts that I choose to follow determine if I will answer the calls. It's really a fascinating subject. I've discovered that sometimes the thoughts that seem to come from the gut, are from God. The questions is: Will I shut up and listen?

I have a really great friend whom I love a lot. She and I bonded when we had our first born children. She is a very private person, and also, as close to a real-life super heroine as one can get. My husband loves the television show "Heroes," because ordinary people have extraordinary powers. That's my friend. I didn't know she had a super power until I watched her face a great test.

When I was pregnant with my third child, (baby Bigfoot), she was expecting twins. We were due one month apart. One night I was sitting on the floor playing with the princess, when I suddenly felt damp. I looked down and saw a puddle of blood. In shock,(because I was 13 weeks pregnant), I wiped up the mess with my sweatshirt and locked myself in the closet with my cell phone. I was so afraid that I was miscarrying that I started shaking. I had to go to the doctor right away, so I was trying to change my clothes while still bleeding, heavily. I felt real panic, and sadness. I got all tangled up in my stretchy pants. Then I had this thought; it came out of nowhere. It was, "Knock it off; he's okay! Put your pants on." So I did. Then I wondered, am I having a boy? I decided that if I were, then that thought was not my own. I didn't find out for a few weeks that baby Bigfoot was a boy.

That night I called my friend to tell her what happened, and she was worried about me. The doctors weren't sure why I bled, but the baby was still there. I was so afraid of losing him.
The next week my friend suddenly lost one of the twins, and the other was in great danger. Doctors determined that the living baby would not survive after birth, and pressured her to terminate the pregnancy.

I will never really understand her pain through this experience, but I can tell you how I felt. It was like she and I were in a combat situation, and the bullet that grazed me hit her, right in the heart. I felt guilt, horror, and devastation. I woke up in the middle of the night crying about it.

That's when I saw her super power: a mixture of courage and faith. She struggled with the pregnancy, trying to save it despite the odds, the advice of doctors, her own fears and physical discomfort. I kept my mouth shut, because the last thing someone facing such a trial needs to hear is a pro-life lecture. How could I? I told her I loved her and respected her no matter what, and that is the truth. She endured the pregnancy, and I can't imagine how agonizing it was, to know your child in the womb as only a mother does, and know that child will not live. She listened to her heart and followed it through.

During that time, we went to a baby shower for another mutual friend. Women there were asking my friend the usual questions: due date, any names, etc. She handled their questions with great poise and grace. She never let on that she had complications. That was the day I proclaimed her my new hero.

One night her husband called. They had a baby girl, Molly. She lived an hour, but was born perfectly beautiful. I got my big belly into the car and drove directly to the hospital, teary-eyed. I sat in the lobby and called his cell. He came down in the elevator and sat next to me. I thought I was going to burst into tears. He talked about how strong my friend was through the birth, and how beautiful the baby was. I sat and listened. Then we hugged, and I left. There was not much to say, but nothing had to be said.

A month later baby Bigfoot was born. The next morning my friend came up to visit me. It was the first time she had been back to that hospital since the birth of her little girl in heaven, (and Molly's twin). I was so moved to see her. It was such a beautiful gift of love that she faced that pain to see me. I'll never forget that she did that.

I don't know why that precious baby girl only lived an hour. I guess she wanted to see if there were any real angels on Earth. That's what her parents are: selfless, wonderful human beings. My friend's super power is the Grace of God, and I hope someday, I can be half the person she is. (S & M, I love you!)

Will You Pick UP! It's God.

One of my blogger friends, Elizabeth, is exploring the topic of major and minor life callings. This is a fascinating idea, and I am intrigued. Some people think that life is random, but I'm not part of that group. I think that there is something to be learned from every event, encounter, relationship, and I've been working on adopting an attitude of gratitude. When I was in high school there was a poster that displayed this saying, and I stared at it blankly every day of my life for a whole year. I didn't get it. After about 17 years, I guess the light bulb finally flicked on. One can consider this a little miracle without offending me, because I agree.

Have I felt called in small and larger ways? Definitely. My first calling was to motherhood. Ask my mom. I had all my baby dolls lined up in my room. I fed my stuffed animals real oatmeal. I was a very nurturing little girl. From as far back as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mother.

When I was in fifth grade I scored the highest in my grade on a creative writing test. My teacher took me outside in the hall. I thought I was in trouble, because he was all red in the face. Actually, he was beaming. "Why didn't you tell me that you could write like that?" He asked. I just shrugged. That was the day I learned I had a talent. From that point on English was my favorite subject.

I always knew I wanted to pursue marriage as a vocation, but I was actually very selective, (don't laugh, Milk Man). I had really high standards, because when I finally did marry, I wanted it to be a relationship that could grow and last. What is "love at first sight?" I don't know exactly, but I do believe in extreme like at first sight. I believe in I-want-to-be-with-this-person-all-the-time at first sight, and wow, this-person-actually-challenges-my-intellect at first sight. That's what I had with Milk Man, (brownie points). One can experience all that several times, but how do you discern that you are called to marry a specific person? I wasn't sure, so I secretly prayed about it..., a lot. Then God hit me over the head with a brick.

I was at Happy Hour with Milk Man at this dockside restaurant called Captain Bill's eating my favorite appetizer, steamed mussels, when I looked up. Outside the window was this party boat called "The Lauren Kristy." Because I had been praying about Milk Man, that was solid confirmation for me.

Since then I've recognized other ways that I feel I'm being called in one direction or another. It has been through opportunities to be present in times of need for friends, family members, or even random strangers. I 've found that when I am able to take these opportunities, I feel a sense that God is at work in my life.

When I was still working after my first child was born, I felt called to leave my job to be home with him. I wasn't sure it would be possible, financially. Plus, I still wanted to help teens in some way. This feeling led me into the field of Youth Ministry, where I currently work. I truly believe that God helped me through that decision to give up my profession for a while. In subtle ways, my children reaffirm this decision for me almost daily.

Sometimes, when God calls, I don't feel like picking up the phone. Nevertheless, I feel compelled to do or say things that don't make sense at the moment, and I might never find out if the action was worthwhile. I think that is God calling me again.

Once, when I was working as a teacher I had a conflict with a senior in one of my classes. She was researching the topic of abortion, and wanted to include some really gory pictures in her class presentation. I told her no, and she did it anyway. I gave her a poor grade. Although the research was good, she did not respect my wishes. She complained to the principal that I let my own opinion about the topic cloud my judgement on her grade. She was angry at me and lashing out for some reason. I really just didn't want her to show the pictures to the class because parents would complain. It was not necessary.

As one can imagine, I was angry at this student for attacking my livelihood. I thought she was being spiteful over a grade. I stuck to my guns. One of her friends approached me in private and told me that this particular student had had an abortion, and was angry at me because she knew I was pro life. "She looks up to you. So when she asked your personal opinion on the topic, she took your honest response as an attack on what she had done." The friend explained. Oh. Well, of course I realized she was hurt and confused by her loss, but I was still mad as heck at how she had lied to my boss about me. I decided that night that I would never make eye contact with this student again. In fact, that was the last thought I had before I fell asleep.

That night I dreamt about a man I had observed on a retreat I chaperoned once. He was a potter. He made an analogy between clay and your life. "You can rebuild yourself at any time." I remember being very moved, but woke up that morning not knowing why I had dreamt about someone I had met briefly several years earlier.

I taught in the same classroom most of the day, and I can tell you with certainty that there was no clay on the floor until the class before I had to encounter this student. The period before I had to leave that room, when the desks were moved into a circle, there it was. A fresh ball of grey clay was suddenly in the center of the classroom floor. The kids must have thought I was crazier than usual that day, because I was shocked to see it there. No one knew about my dream except me and God. I knew I was supposed to pick it up and put it in my pocket, so I did.

Walking down the hall to the computer lab to meet the next class, I must have looked nuts. I know I was talking to myself, in an actual argument with God. "I can't believe you want me to talk to this girl. I don't want to talk to this girl!" I complained.

When I arrived I called her outside. She came out all cocky, ready to take me on. I took the clay out of my pocket and thought, "Alright, if I have to speak to her, YOU give me some words." I was thinking AT God. The girl was staring, assuming I was going to get angry at her.

"I bet when your boyfriend dumped you last year you felt like this," I took the clay and smashed it against the locker. As we stared for a moment at each other, her eyes got glassy. Then something changed. She started to laugh, and cry. I even got choked up. We hugged. "Your friend told me. I know you're in a lot of pain. You can start over again. You can be anything you want. It's still all good. " I gave her the clay.

It was an amazing moment. After that I had a connection with that student. Other than the event of the birth of my own children, I have never felt God's presence so keenly than at that moment. I felt sure that being pro-life was a good thing, and I wasn't afraid to take a stand for it. I saw the pain and agony that abortion inflicts on women. Also, I felt an urge again to reach out to teens in some other way. So, that was another brick. I'm glad I picked up the phone that time.

True, it's only because of the perspective I choose to take that I view these events as callings. It's a hopeful perspective that makes for a richer life. I constantly feel confirmed in ways that are difficult to put into words. Readers, tell me about your callings...comment.

On a Serious Note

I strongly believe in the power of prayer and fasting, especially when people join together with a single intention. Until the Presidential Election, a group of my Catholic friends and I have decided to say the Divine Mercy Chaplet daily at 3 p.m. at home, or where ever we find ourselves. In addition, we are fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays, (two small meals, one regular meal, no snacks between meals). We're doing this to ask God's help in spreading an attitude change in regard to the sanctity of human life. Abortion is not just an ISSUE, it is a moral injustice that needs immediate attention.

Like many religions, the Catholic faith is rooted in sacrifice. Although the idea of sacrifice has a negative connotation in society, it is a necessary component for growth in life. Sacrifice is actually an act of love that yields grace. You can read more about our fast at Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller's blog. Readers of ALL faiths, I truly hope you decide to join us in any way you are able. Send me a comment if you can join our effort. Thanks! -Loren

Is this "CHANGE" AND "HOPE?!"

(Please turn off the playlist at the bottom of this blog before you play the movie.)

Abortion: NOT a "Small Thing"

Reader, let me ask you a question. Does the crowd in this picture look small? THOUSANDS travel to Washington D.C. every year to March for Life. Because God has blessed America, the protest is done in peace. This is a GREAT country, but there is always room for improvement. That's why Americans applaud the idea of "change." I think the way in which we view the sanctity of human life will ultimately determine the future of our great nation. Obviously, based on this photo, I am not alone.

"We can not make a big election about small things," Senator Barack Obama announces in his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention. Is abortion a SMALL issue? He says, "Maybe we can't agree on abortion, but we can find ways to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies. " Is that good enough? Those of us who are pro-life want an attitude shift about the rights of the unborn. Reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies is not going to create a change in the way people view human life. Senator Obama, what does it say about your judgement when you vote against pro-life legislation 100% of the time during your tenure as a senator? Barack Obama likes to say that he voted against the war in Iraq. However, his voting record on life issues is not something he brags about.

I know I nicknamed him "Senator Abominable" in a previous post, but Senator Obama does have admirable personal qualities, and opinions on other issues that I agree with. I wish I could vote for him, but his position on abortion is abominable. How can an intelligent, articulate man who cares about serving others not want rights for unborn children? With his voting record (in regard to life issues) I wonder how can he sleep at night. It would have been a small thing for the senator to support pro-life legislation, and yet, he chose many times to vote "present, " avoiding the issue altogether. What was he doing, putting his future presidential campaign ahead of his conscience?

The following information was taken from the National Right to Life website: http://www.nrlc.org/ :

1. Barack Obama is a co-sponsor of the “Freedom of
   Choice Act” (FOCA), a bill that would
   nullify virtually all federal and state limitations on
   abortion, including the types now permitted by
   the Supreme Court, such as parental notification
   laws and waiting periods. It would also make
   partial-birth abortion legal again.







2. While in the Illinois State Senate, Barack Obama
   voted against legislation that prohibited taxpayer
   dollars from being used to pay for abortion. His
   campaign has stated that he “does not support”
   the Hyde Amendment, which prohibits taxpayer
   funding of abortion through the Medicaid
   program.




3. Barack Obama voted to block a bill to require an
   abortionist to notify a parent before performing an
   abortion on a minor who lives in another state.
   




4. Barack Obama voted against an amendment to
   allow states to provide federally subsidized health
   care insurance for an unborn child (within the
   SCHIP program). The amendment would have
   written explicit language into the SCHIP
   statute to guarantee that a covered child
   “includes, at the option of a State, an unborn
   child.” The amendment further defined “unborn
   child” as “a member of the species homo sapiens,
   at any stage of development, who is carried in the
   womb.”





5. Barack Obama sharply criticized the Supreme
   Court for its 2007 Gonzales v. Carhart decision
   upholding the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act. He
   said, “I strongly disagree with today’s Supreme
   Court ruling...I am extremely concerned that this
   ruling will embolden state legislatures to enact
   further measures to restrict a woman’s right to
   choose, and that the conservative Supreme Court
   justices will look for other opportunities to erode
   Roe v. Wade, which is established federal law and
   a matter of equal rights for women.”
   
   


6. While a member of the Illinois State Senate,
   Barack Obama opposed the proposed “Born-Alive
   Infants Protection Act” (BAIPA). The measure
   was very similar to the federal BAIPA, which
   President Bush signed into law in 2002. Obama
   opposed the legislation for three straight
   legislative sessions and twice spoke against the
   bill on the Senate floor. He voted against the bill
   twice in committee and once on the Senate floor.
   Both laws were intended to provide protection for
   babies who survived abortions equal to protection
   received by babies who are spontaneously born
   prematurely.
   


7. Since his election to the Senate in 2004, Barack
   Obama has compiled a 0% voting record on prolife
   issues scored by the National Right to Life
   Committee. By contrast, he has a 100% rating
   from NARAL Pro-Choice America.
   

Here's what Mother Theresa thinks about small things:

“What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

Forget about CHANGE, it's more like, time for a miracle. Maybe Mother Theresa will come out of eternal retirement and run for President of the United States. If not, I plan to use my presidential vote to offend Hillary Clinton. Now that's the beauty of democracy.

"A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what a ship was built for."
-John A. Shedd (Salt in My Attic, 1928)

All pictures above show March for Life, Washington D.C., 2008

Above: A 3D sonogram of my youngest at 25 weeks (6 months) in the womb.
By week 4 (one month) the neural tube, which becomes the nervous system and brain, the heart and primitive circulatory system have formed. - (FACT taken from pregnancy.org)

Senator Abominable, Go Home!

I don't want to use this blog to rant, but I am so annoyed at Senator Obama's comments regarding his position on Abortion. I can't help myself. Here's a thought. I resigned from my job to be a full-time mother. Obviously, I get no salary, and yet, the welfare and protection of my children, whether born or unborn, is not "above my pay grade." If I were lucky enough to find myself in a position of political power, I would, in the very least, protect the most vulnerable members of society.

Mr. Obama, abortion HURTS women and KILLS human beings. Women who have abortions suffer emotional pain for the rest of their lives. This is because the decision to abort goes against natural instincts. Women should not be misled about the gravity of this choice that God gives them the free will to make.

Slavery was wrong, but many Americans lost their lives to protect this horrible practice. The Holocaust was wrong, but again, this was an evil idea that was defended and promoted by many. Americans should be allowed to be born, regardless of their health or physical limitations. Abortion should end, and it's plain and simple that politicians who are good people will do all they can to make that happen.

I want a president who is peaceful and cares about the human race. I know that's a tall order that neither party can deliver exactly to my liking. In the very least, the next president has to be pro-life, because I think the future of the world depends on the goodness of its leaders.

I hope that one day I will live to see an America where my great-grandchildren say to me, "Grammy, why did they perform abortions when you were young? That's a horrible crime." There's nothing radically different about Senator Obama's message. I see no change. GO HOME ABOM-INABLE! Thanks for listening...I feel much better now. (Expect another rant if Senator Obama becomes president.)

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." -Winston Churchill

(Below is a video clip of Alveda King, niece of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., speaking at the March for Life in Washington D.C., 2008. Please turn off the playlist at the bottom of the page to hear the video.)