Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Living Dangerously

Answering the telephone when the kids are awake is currently my idea of living dangerously. My brother calls me up playing a practical joke. He knows I'm freaked out by an old horror movie where a killer hides upstairs and calls the babysitter. He hisses into the phone. "Did you check the children?" I drop the receiver screaming, "NO!" It's not because he fooled me.

Lately, bad things happen while I'm on the phone. I look away for a second, and the dog is busy tearing apart the bag filled with dirty diapers that I put near the front door. Something brown is smeared across my white oriental rug. The baby is standing in front of an open garbage pail, his hands clenching bits of discarded salmon from our dinner. The princess is pouring apple juice into her play kitchen sink, and it's forming a puddle around her feet. Big brother is finger painting with the ketchup. When I hang up I'll have about an hour of clean-up work ahead of me.

The phone is dangling by its cord. "Loren, LOREN...I'M JUST KIDDING...Hello?"

1 comment:

Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

You mean you actually use a corded phone? I would never be able to safely answer the phone if I was attached to a cord! I typically run laps around my house and up and down the stairs during my phone calls!

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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