"NOOOOOOOO!" I don't wanna get on a boat! I will fall into the deep, deep ocean! NOOOOOOO!"Ahhhh, the sweet sound of a screaming princess on another peaceful summer day, filled with family fun! Today we are attempting to board the ferry to Fire Island to visit an aunt at her summer home. The princess has thrown herself on the boardwalk, and people step around her to avoid getting tangled in the kicking frenzy. The boat horn sounds as her shoes fly off, and I get desperate. I figure I have two options to get her on the ferry:
1. Pick her up and hurl her on to it, which is what I feel like doing, but is probably child abuse,
or
2. Trick her with a lie that I might regret later.
Reader, I think you know enough about my parenting mishaps by this post to guess correctly that I choose the lie. "My sweet little Princess," I coo in her ear, "we're not actually getting on a BOAT at all." She sniffs and looks up at me, pausing the kicking. "We're just getting on a BUS." She thinks for a moment, then smiling, stands up and takes my hand. We slip on the ferry just in time and meet her siblings and grandma in a seat. My mother shouts over the ferry motor, "How did you get her on the..."
"SHHHHHHH!" I interupt. "It's a BUS, grandma." My mother shakes her head looking over at the princess. "Oh," she says, "that's right, a BUS."
Now the princess is enjoying the ride; warm salt air is blasting the kids' hair. Baby brother is rocking and singing a on
e-word song about his father. Big brother is looking out the window, calculating on his little boy fingers how many "triple whips" he and grandma need to do to cross the bay from here. The princess is spotting mermaid tails in the water. She stops one of the deck hands as he passes through the cabin. He's a teen who babysits for us occasionally, and lives to tell about it. He recognizes the princess and gives her a high five. She exclaims in a thrilled tone, "Joey! This bus is riding super fast!" He looks confused at first, then laughs. He shouts over the motor, "It's a ...," but I cut him off, grabbing his arm and shouting "BUS!"
e-word song about his father. Big brother is looking out the window, calculating on his little boy fingers how many "triple whips" he and grandma need to do to cross the bay from here. The princess is spotting mermaid tails in the water. She stops one of the deck hands as he passes through the cabin. He's a teen who babysits for us occasionally, and lives to tell about it. He recognizes the princess and gives her a high five. She exclaims in a thrilled tone, "Joey! This bus is riding super fast!" He looks confused at first, then laughs. He shouts over the motor, "It's a ...," but I cut him off, grabbing his arm and shouting "BUS!" 
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