Friday, August 22, 2008

ME Day

I decide to take some time out for myself today to celebrate some recent milestones in my extraordinary little life. First, I lost forty pounds over the course of the past fifteen months, so I feel like my old, pre-baby self again. Secondly, baby Bigfoot has officially crossed over into toddler-hood, walking in the last month and sleeping through the night in a toddler bed.

I break out the yellow pages searching for a spa, as the babysitter, whom little sister has renamed: "Princess Jessica," looks over my shoulder. I run my finger down the page and stop at the word "IHOP." I decide out loud that's where I'm headed. "That's a pancake house," Princess Jessica says, secretly deciding the kids have officially driven me insane. "Yeah, I know, it sounds just... wonderful," I answer, daydreaming about what I plan to order.

I order a huge plate of pancakes with vanilla ice cream and bananas for lunch. Then, really quick, before the weight I just accumulated from that meal shows up on my body, I buy jeans. Not the "Mom Jeans" described in a comedy skit, these pants are cool. I'm so proud of myself, and on a high from the great day I'm having, when I pass PIERCING PAGOTA in the mall. (Yes, Reader, you guessed it.)

Later, over the phone, I'm telling Milk Man about my day. He's still at work. "I had pancakes and ice cream for lunch... I bought jeans and I got pierced." There's silence on the phone.

"You got PIERCED?! ...WHERE?" I ask him why it's a mystery. "Is it your belly button?"
I gasp. "You think I'm going to torture my mid-section further after it's been kneaded in pregnancy three times like dough in a pizza shop? I don't think so. It's just my ear lobes. My ears aren't pierced, Mr. Observant Christie."

He laughs. "Oh, Good for you! Hey, now I have more options for Christmas presents."

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Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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