Sunday, September 28, 2008

Retribution Day at the Christie Household


Last night I discovered something so bizarre and alarming about Hell Hound. Apparently she has been surfing the web while I'm not home. Stealing food from babies and adults alike, running away with important computer documents, fighting in cemeteries with stray cats, and other horrid acts of random violence have put her on my "list." As her adopted mother, I have tried to be understanding and patient. I tried obedience training at Petco, and we were asked to leave. I tried electric shock treatment collars, but she out-barked the batteries. I even sought the advice of you, my friend in cyberspace, as to what I should do about her. Although the polls have not yet closed, 8 of you said she should be mailed to the President of China, Mr. Hu Jintao, as a birthday present. The one "no" vote was cast by Hell Hound herself; (she recently admitted to it during intense interrogation). The jury is out, my friends, and I thank you wholeheartedly for your advice. Hell Hound's reign of terror over my family ends TODAY, (or tomorrow, the post office is currently closed).

3 comments:

Senior Advisor to President Hu Jintao said...

Many thanks, American Family Christie! She look like she make nice coat. I will give her to President Jintao this week when he returns from Happy Relations trip.

ROSCOE DOG said...

Screw You Hell Hound! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Romy and Andrew said...

poor doggie! (but I voted to send her away to China, too! :) ) We sent our cat to Grandma and Grandpa. She's much happier now.

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.

Fondly,

Loren Christie

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