Monday, September 29, 2008

After 30 Year Silence Ken Comes Out of Closet, Scares Chics

I exhume a box of old dolls from my closet and give them to the princess. As you can imagine, she is thrilled, and immediately combines the dusty toys with her new Barbies, and accessories. Next comes the question I'm kind of dreading, because I'm busy. "Mommy, can you play Barbies with me?" I pause, looking down at my daughter, whose face is forming a frown in anticipation that I might not agree. I can remember saying the same exact words, and to this day, the names of adults who played games with me are written on my heart. I decide to put down what I'm doing and play. Besides, Readers, as I think you might guess, this game will probably amuse me.

First we dress them. Ken's clothes have to go. He's worn the same suit every day since 1980.

"Ken, these clothes won't do if you want to be a playa with the 2008 Barbies." I say.

The princess agrees, asking, "Mommy what's a 'playa'?"

Oops, maybe I should not have said that. "Um...That's what Mommy used to date before she met your daddy, honey."

The princess nods, seeming to understand me as we dress Ken up semi-casually, in blue rubber sneakers, jeans and a sports tee.

"There, he's hip," I say. "Now he can find Barbies to take to the Ball," adds the princess.

Then Barbie and her friends drive up in their 1985 plastic jeep.

"Look, there's Ken. We haven't seen him in like, 30 years. What's up Ken?"

Old, washed-up Barbie is driving. The girls dump her on the side of the road. Ken is all cool, riding on his giant stuffed cat.

"Hey, Ladies, what's up? You're lookin' fine!" Ken says.

The princess makes the Barbies giggle. Suddenly, Geek Barbie's glasses fall out of the car. When Ken bends down to retrieve them, the unspeakable happens. His pants split. Barbie and her friends gasp.

"What happened to your pants, Ken?" The Princess makes old Barbie shout, and shake her head, disapprovingly. The girls speed away, frightened by this pervert.

"Ken is not cool." I make Geek Barbie say.

"Yeah, Come on Barbies, let's go find Spiderman or G.I. Joe!" says the princess. Then, moving my hair to the side to whisper in my ear, she adds: "They are better."

I grin with pride at my girl. Readers, like the old adage goes, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Take time to play, it is the source of perpetual youth."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


Milk Man said...

Is this what you did today?

Loren Christie said...

Yup. That's why they pay me the big bucks.

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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