Monday, October 27, 2008
Big Brother's Sticky Situation
Mommy is starting to "freak!" She says she's waiting, and thinks she's starting to "age." I will keep my mouth closed until she is 134 years old because I am not a robot. I am a boy. Mommy sits on me, the spoon touches my lips and makes them feel all tingly. I scream and Mommy gets out the sugar. She says I can have a whole spoon of it if I swallow the medicine, but I don't take that deal. I try for a milk shake from Carvel instead, but Mommy says, "I do not negotiate with terrorists!" Mommy's going to jump off a cliff if I don't take my medicine, but I remind her that there are no cliffs in our town. She will have to go to where the cowboys live, or maybe Mars, to find one. Mommy begs me to take my medicine, but I am not a robot, and my mouth is shut tightly.
Next, Mommy is looking out the window, and she thinks she sees one of Santa's elves, but I don't care. She can see the dentist elf knocking on the glass with a tooth brush, and I still won't open my mouth. Now the phone is ringing. Mommy picks up with the hand that is not holding the spoon filled to the brim with robot medicine. She looks worried. It's the police department. A policeman wants to speak to me about taking the robot medicine! "NOOOO!" I shout. I'll open my mouth. Mommy hangs up and puts the spoon in my mouth, but something really bad happens. My lips can't hold in the sticky, smelly robot food. It sprays out of my mouth and all over mommy's shirt. OH, she is not happy. She just threw the spoon across the kitchen into the sink. "Nice shot, Mommy!" I say. I tell her she can be like one of those Globetrotters, but she is grumbling, walking away from me. "Mommy! Does this mean I don't have to take my medicine?" Looks like mommy was the sticky one this time.
Dear Internet Traveler,
Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.