Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hell Hound's Weekday Update: Guess Who I Met on the Plane!

Wow, first class seating is really nice on Jet End Justifies the Means, official airline of Russia. Whoa! Was that a pig on the wing? Look at those clouds. They look like all the stuffing I ripped out of the toys back home.

This human in the row next to me named Fidel Castro lent me his Blackberry, so I can post this blog. He is sitting here giving me tummy rubs in first class. What a nice human! We're chatting about politics. He watched the debate between Senator John McCain and Senator Barack Obama just like my humans did last night. He says he really hopes Senator Obama wins, because that would be great for his country. He says Senator Obama is someone with whom he could sit down, without preconditions, and drink Cerveza la Tropical. I say, "No way, Fidel! The American humans are way too shortsighted to vote for Senator Obama." Then he offers me a tasty hot dog that he lit on fire at one end. "Besides," I say, taking a puff of my treat, "I don't know what the fuss is about abortion. Every time Alpha Dog brings home another human pup, I try every chance I get to eat it. Those little buggers make such yummy treats." Now Fidel is laughing very hard, and patting my head. Why can't I have an owner like him? I bet he's man's best friend in his country.

The pilot just announced that we're about to land. Fidel gave me a present. It's an absentee ballot, so I can vote for Senator Obama from Russia. He says I can not chew it, but must give it to a human named ACORN in the airport. When I meet this ACORN man, Fidel promises there will be a special doggie treat packaged by Senator Obama himself. He says this is a very important mission for my country, and I'm the dog for the job. "I will help you, Fidel!" I bark. I wonder if I can add voting for Senator Obama to my resume when I join PETA in the fight for animal rights?

Goodbye, odorless, non-edible television device that mesmerizes humans.

-Hell Hound

Read: "Castro Casts His vote For Obama"

2 comments:

Bear Midnight Miller said...

Hell Hound, I admire you. You are very smart and very cynical. I have not traveled much. I am afraid of the car and would never get on a plane. I am not allowed to leave my property because I left a mess near one of our neighbor's houses and my person was very embarrassed.

Hell Hound said...

Bear Midnight Miller,
Hello! Are you my knight in shining armor? Please come rescue me from Russia, or if you are too scared to leave your property, call PETA, quick! This tiger looks hungry. I saw a movie once that may give you some ideas on how to get me. It's called "The Borne Identity."

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.

Fondly,

Loren Christie

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