Thursday, October 09, 2008
Preparing for Natural Disasters, Other Than Myself
Hi. I am baby Bigfoot. One of my favorite pastimes is making a stinky diaper in my secret hurricane shelter (the television cabinet). The Mayor of Lazytown recently sent a document home that outlines safety precautions that all families should take in case of an Act of God. Mommy says that does not mean a rainbow or free lunch, but a really bad storm. So I gathered up all the things I might need to survive for a while in that predicament.
First thing is my favorite farm animal, Hell Hound. If I get cold, I can just grab a fist full of her fur and pull. Next thing is my stuffed duck. He will be in charge of this battery powered radio that I found in the basement. Then, I will gather up some Cheerios that I stored in my Lego wagon last week for this type of emergency. Of course, I'll need a few sippy cups too, and that crazy plastic horn that sucks snooglies out of my nose. I'll need a wooden spoon from the kitchen drawer to make S.O.S. sounds. I can't forget one of daddy's dirty black socks that he wears when he plays dress-up businessman, so rescue workers can smell my location. Also, I'll need big brother's remote control dinosaur to scare away squirrels if a tree comes through the den wall. Finally, I'll need something really dangerous to chew on, like a rock from the driveway, or pocket change, just to pass the time without electricity. Okay. I'm ready. Bye.
Dear Internet Traveler,
Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.