What the ??@#! Do I Do With This Carcass? Recipe

(Don't read this, Mom.)

My mother sent me home on Thanksgiving Day with a turkey carcass because I wanted to attempt homemade soup. I lied and told her, "Of course I know what to do with it."

First I cut it out of the white garbage bag that she wrapped it in. Then I threw it on a cutting board and stared at it until Milk Man came into the kitchen and asked me what the heck I was doing. As soon as he saw the butcher knife in my hand, he left.

All those bones and skin really overwhelmed me, so I re-wrapped the carcass and put it in the fridge for a day, while I tried to figure out how to squeeze some soup out of the poor, already mutilated bird. I looked up turkey soup on the Internet, and opened all the cookbooks I own to similar recipes. Then I read everything and came up with my own method. After the soup was done I gave it to a panel of one judge who eats medieval-style, and he gave it a 10! See the picture? Anyway, here's the fantastic recipe. You should try it one day.


---Judge says: "Yike it... More?"


Loren's Surprisingly Good Carcass Soup Recipe


You need:

• a big carcass of a Turkey (also works with a Peacock, I bet)


• celery chopped


• onion chopped


• leftover veggies from your fridge


• cooked rice leftover


• 3-4 chicken bouillon packets


• salt


• Use your judgment for the amounts

1. Take a turkey carcass and try to chop the wings off. Then get the biggest pot you own and just dump the whole thing into it. Fill the pot with water and boil that bird until all the meat comes off his bones. Next skim the fat, skin and anything else that looks gross off the top of the soup. Then remove the bones.


2. Add all the leftover veggies in your fridge to the pot, carrots, green beans etc. Then add some chopped onion and celery. Next add three or four packets of sodium-free chicken bouillon and the leftover rice.


3. In about an hour the soup will be done and you can add salt if you like. Enjoy your carcass soup!