Thursday, January 15, 2009

Move Over, Santa

After singing two choruses of Sponge Bob's ballad, "The Best Day Ever," big brother pauses his video game, enthusiastic about beginning his homework project. No, I'm not dreaming, I just looked out the window and decided to keep him home. It's snowing...pretty hard. The princess' preschool is closed, and I can do that because as "mommy," I rule his universe right now.

The bus driver, Don, stops in front of my house anyway and waits for us. Why? Because he's under the spell of my charm, and I pick up that lucky card on the LIFE gameboard a lot,(or maybe he's just a really nice man). I throw my coat over my pajamas and run outside to wave him on.

I make a larger-than-normal breakfast for the kids, and they crown me "Greatest Mom Ever" with pink construction paper and glue. As I'm clearing the plates, I make some snow day conversation.

"So, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I ask, addressing all three children at once.

"NO!" shouts baby Bigfoot, who is obviously a "Toys R Us Kid."

"A baby doll doctor, so I can tape up all the children who break themselves," announces the princess, after some thought. We've bandaged her favorite doll Chelsea, who is made of porcelain, about six times.

Then big brother chimes in. "I want to be SANTA CLAUS!"

His younger sister looks confused. "Silly big brother, there already IS a Santa Claus."

"Yeah, but he is getting old. I will be his helper, and learn how to drive the sleigh, and I'll take over the job for him."

"The princess puts down her hard boiled egg and frowns. "Can he do that, Mommy?!"

"Those are some big plans. How about you start by just getting dressed and doing your homework for kindergarten." I say.

"Ohhh! Kindergarten is sooooooo borin'! All we do is color, and sit, and write letters, and read, and color again! Let's just skip to college like Steve from Blue's Clues."

"Just eat your eggs, Alex P. Keaton." I say.


Putz said...

your kids can build a 16 foot snowman????? ok for the third time here goes, wish me my boy was not shaving in the cabinet...the razor must have been one with spring action so after shaving he put it in the CABINET WHERE IT BELONGED... and then the razor started moving and we never suspected that it was creating the noise , so we searched and got else could i explaint this...see i don't know how to convey, just likes ryhmes with bob says, a slice of life with notbeginning and no ending and no understanding apparantely

Ann Victor said...

Aren't kids cute? Talk about out of the mouths of babes...!

Ann Victor said...

PS Loved the shirt vote! I would've voted to throw it out!

Loren Christie said...

Hi Ann,
I thought most would agree with me that it should be trashed. It seems that Milk Man sent his supporters to the blog to vote in his favor.

Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller said...

They should have closed school this morning as most of the snow was already on the ground by the time the buses came. They wound up doing an early dismissal at around noon. I heard there was a car accident at my kids' exit and called to make sure they got there safely. Good choice to just keep him at home!

Dear Internet Traveler,

Welcome to my writer's blog, started about six years ago for fun. Over time, the writing I have posted has ranged from personal reflection, to Long Island history research, to tall tales for my own amusement, to feature articles for local newspapers. As you can see from topics listed here, I travel in many mental directions in regard to interests. Click on the tabs and labels to explore my strange mind which senses that you may be having a criss-cross day. If so, perhaps this blog will distract you. However, please note that if you tell me my blog is beautiful just to get me to advertise rhinoplasty surgery and cheap drugs from Canada in your comment, I will ask the gods to give you a tail that cannot be concealed.


Loren Christie

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